It's difficult to live,

full of emotions.

2012-02-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

i am seriously bipolar. emotional at times, yet emotionless at times.
sigh. and i feel like i'm childish and mature at the same time?
i am also optimistic and pessimistic at the same time. HAHAHAHA.
and the first time i heard someone (clara) calling me bipolar, i instantly agreed inside of me. HAHAHAHA.

hi welcome to my bipolar world~~~~

i love my blog cause it's where i can be as bipolar as i want to be.
i know i sound like super emotional and miserable at times, but if you really know me, i do exaggerate a little sometimes. HAHAHAHA.
cause honestly, i am a super blissful and happy kid. just that some thoughts/feelings struck me sometime and i would explain them as detailed as possible which made the situation/matter sound ten times more serious.

okayyyy, i shld stop saying that i am a kid. cause i am a mature woman! HOHOHO turning 20 in less than 2 months' time OMGGG dun even wanna think.
and ahyi is turning 20 next week HAHAHAHAHA.
WE GONNA PARTAYE WHOLE DAYYYY. that is if we can both get morning shifts T^T

i know i havent been posting photos but i haven taken any nowadays lehhh.
i shall take some the next time with my new clothes bought on taobao kay! or maybe not then next time you all will feel *-* when you see me irl wearing those clothes HAHAHAHA.

though you dun see a picture of me, here is pretty pic:

i know how i always say i want practical presents, but i really want a carousel music box (though it isn't technically a box and i would want a more colourful and happier carousel HAHA)

and when i get back to sg, i wanna try making these:

CARBONARA PASTA

CHOCOLATE COVERED CORNFLAKES

CINNAMON MELTSSSSSSSS

ohgod i am hungry looking at these gonna munch on some biscuits laterrrr.
PEOPLE WILL HAVE KOU FU WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

LDR

2012-02-15T12:02:00.002+08:00

watched a LDR video and it's like fuck i can feel them.
even though mine was only like for 6months and he came to visit in between but somehow i felt that so tough. because i couldn't talk to him when i want to. eg whatsapp or whatever.

i couldn't whatsapp him. i could only text him. and he couldnt even reply cause of his prepaid card. so it's like a one-way thing and i wouldn't even know if he actually received them anot.

i could only call when i can. but i wouldn't know if he is free/sleeping. and every call is so fucking expensive i would spend like SGD20 per call. hahahahaha. he doesnt know but calling him is the reason why my china prepaid card is always stopped.

and he isn't always online? we dun even skype. he doesnt even have a skype acct and he doesnt know how to create. and his laptop/desktop dun even have a webcam. so whats the point.
we only skyped like once or twice? when he borrowed his bro's laptop.

we just use msn. or emails. there was a period of time when we only emailed each other once a week. merely an email per week.
i was dying to know whats going on in his life but he was busy and i was busy. and the replies became really slow.

idk but this probably strengthened us?
forever afraid that things will get awkward when i get back. hopefully not.

i love you my dearest. see you in one and a half weeks' time. <3

2012-02-15T01:08:00.001+08:00

okayy, but despite being sad looking at the happy couples/families dining at our restaurant tonight, and seeing people posting photos of their happy valentines, i dun feel jealous at all seeing people receiving flowers leh.

FOREVER FEELING THAT FLOWERS ARE A WASTE OF MONEY.

still rmb that day when tay was at shanghai and the auntie was persuading him to buy a flower for his 'pretty' gf and his reply was 'she doesn't like flowers' and the auntie was in disbelief HAHAHAHA.

even though we aren't tgthr this valentines, but i know we still got each other presents, practical presents - CLOTHES OHHOHOHOHOHO I LOVE CLOTHES.

#randomz

2012-02-15T00:46:00.000+08:00

saw this on tumblr and my nose instantly felt sour.

(L)(L)(L)(L)

2012-02-14T00:00:00.000+08:00

LOVE IS WHEN YOU SIMPLY SMILE WHEN HE/SHE IS HAPPY.

So, on this day which is supposed to be filled with love all around, i hereby wish all the lovely people i love, happy valentines' day. <3 you know who you are. ^^ i love you!

2012-02-12T18:59:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder, do people like me for who i really am?
but then again, who am i really?
sighhh, life is all about searching for who you truly are?
though i believe that my life shld be dedicated to make people happy. HAHAHAHA.
shall no longer probe to find out who i truly am. i am whoever i feel that i am. HOHO. no restrictions to who i can only be. heh.

nothing to update about my boring life.
nothing to talk about.
just that i will be arriving at changi airport on 26feb at approximately 8.50pm HEHEHEHE.
had a super full brunch cause i couldnt decide what i wanna eat and ended up buying too much. T^T knew this would happen when i bought them sighhh.
planned to do some report and failed miserably. din even open the folder okay. let me dieeee. no determination at all. T^T okay tml tml tml tml tml. D: pray hard please thankew.

in the midst of persuading tay

2012-02-12T01:32:00.000+08:00

TAY: u got so many bag and wallet liao
ME: more is better than less ma horh!?

TAY: too much is nv better than enough

ME: but you can never have too much

our conversation is so philosophical. :')

Our First Anniversary.

2012-02-11T00:00:00.137+08:00

HI i actually created a collage of our pictures but then again,

i feel that this is a much much more meaningful picture than ALL the rest. heh.

it's been a year since then.

since that greatest surprise i have received which i had been so gong about. HAHAHA.

will never forget my shock when i see you accepting the 'bday cake' meant for 'others' from the waitress. HAHAHAHAHA.

time really do fly.

if it flies for another few more months, then you will officially become my longest boyfriend. HAHAHA.

well, honestly,

i havent been the best girlf.

but yet, you stood by me.

p.s. the following is just for one person. but if you wanna read it, then dun complain.

---

since 8 April 1992,

i have been spoiled by numerous people - my parents, my aunts, my uncles, my ahgong, my ahmas, my cousins, my siblings, my friends, etc etc.

i was really a spoiled kid.

i used to be the only child, and received all the love from everyone, mostly my parents of course.

that is until 3 June 1994 when LEE JIA MIN was born. HAHAHA.

okay at least i was like the main (and only) 'character' in my parents' life for like more than two years.

i grew up happily, cause somehow people just naturally liked me HAHA not kidding okay.

PLUS i was somehow able to communicate very well with people, as compared to my dear ahmin.

i always had lots of friends surrounding me, and somehow teachers loved me.

in kindergarten, teachers picked me for the grad ceremony perf and according to the teacher my size is the average one so even the costume is tailored to my measurements. KEKE.

in my first primary school, i was always picked for perfs and act as the main character.

in my second primary school, my teacher picked me as the class representative for weird contests like the whitest teeth even though i have a decayed tooth. HAHAHA.

my older cousins always let me have my way. be it jiejie, ortao, xueli jiejie.

even younger cousins (okay maybe without the S behind 'cousin) like weilong will buy me more sushis as compared to the amt bought for the other cousins.

i was so thoroughly spoiled. D: (but definitely not as spoiled as jiamin. ^^)

somehow, as i grew older, i started dating.

that's when i started losing everything. okay no, almost everything.

family, friends, and eventually him.

it's weird that at that point in time i felt like i lost everything.

but wait, i realised that i was nv thoroughly alone.

somehow, just somehow, there is always at least a friend there to accompany me during my downs, to pick me up when i fall, or even just to give me a shoulder to cry on.

and as time passes, i flew in and out of r/s.

when a r/s ended, the heartbreaks never last too long.

i would not say that it din hurt cause the impact it gave was forever.

each r/s somehow gave me their own trauma which up till now, i'm unable to shake off.

i regretted flying in and out of r/s, so much.

friends laughed at me for being a slut/flirt, and that i change my boyf faster than them changing their underwear.

they laughed, and i wondered if they meant it for real.

i know some friends dont, but yet for the others, you never know.

i rmb someone called me a bitch who changes boyf faster than her changing clothes.

but then again, who knew me like the way i do.

okay you may be wondering what the hell am i writing all these life stories in this post,

but okay i am gonna start linking up all these stories to the stuffs below kay.

cause i was such a spoiled kid,

i never saw that i was quite a self-centred bitch.

to me, everything i did/said was right.

and i hate it when people contradicts me.

but somehow, you could tell that, and you chided me for having a sucky attitude and made me see from your light.

i was so spoiled, even by you, that i left you no pride at all while exposing your vulnerabilities, hurting you entirely while being blinded by my own misery and pain.

talking abt that makes me feel like crying now.

i'm so DAMN DAMN DAMN sorry for hurting you then.

i failed to see YOUR misery and pain, which got doubled cause you felt mine as well. i failed to see those and tore your wounds open cruelly.

i forgot that you felt scared too. forgot that you were as lost and confused as i was too. i just assumed that you had to take the responsibility and the lead. i am so sorry my dear.

i even felt so righteous at exposing you. never thought that i multiplied your pain and hurt by galleons. how stupid was i. and this just happened just a few weeks back.

this incident really gave me a big knock on my head, and i realised how much you love me then.

no matter how much pain you were in, you never inflicted any on me to make yourself feel better, unlike me.

fuck im feeling so guilty now and tears just keep flowing. hahahaha.

you were in pain yet you din show it, and you let me vent it all.

i know i am in the fault now. i am sorry.

and i was so self-centred that i thought aft that matter which happened to me years back would be the worst part of my life, and it will all be smooth-sailing for me from now on that i failed to see that like in roller coasters, life would go down more than once.

and so, i fell again.

i vented everything on you, you took everything.

when you were feeling down, i blamed you for not sharing with me. ohwtf why am i like this.

and i accused you for not loving me just cause you refused to share, when you did so cause you love me far too much.

i am probably the worst girlf ever, while you are the best boyf i could ever have.

you stopped trying to surprise me, after being disappointed cause of me talking about how i alr expected them.

i am sorry you took it as i din appreciate them.

but you dunoe how much i loved them, that i am always waiting for the next.

you know all my faults, and yet you chose to see past them all and love and protect me in your own ways which i never saw with my blinded eyes trying to find some kind of prince charming which will never appear.

will never forgot how that night i found you crying and wetting the whole pillow cause you thought you were gonna lose me.
i was so damn shocked cause bi ah bi, i will never fucking leave you okay. no matter how much things you do to piss me off. HAHAHA.
unless you go sleep with some other girls, or text/msn/fb/tell other girls i love you or i miss you, or anyhow go out on dates with girls without telling me.
i see all those above as cheating on me horh. cheating on me is definitely not allowed in my worldddd~~
but okay go back to that story.
i will also nv forget how i found that letter draft of yours to me which has dried spots of tears on it saying that you din want me to go for the overseas internship. HEHEHE.
dun feel embarrassed okay. cause ben xiao jie now basking in the sweetness of all these HAHAHA.

oh wo de tian i am crying like crazy right now and i dun even know why. hahahahaha.

i will, cause i love you, try and see everything in a much positive light.

i will, cause i love you, trust you more.

i will, cause i love you, to continue loving you for as long as i am able to.

thank you for all those changes you made just to suit me and my bipolar character and weird personality.

i will now try and fix the broken and spoiled parts of me so that you will be happier.

i am really happy that it's you by my side and not anyone else.

god knows where else can i find someone who is as generous and big-hearted as you.

really the best kay.

perhaps this had been an incoherent post but i hope you understand just what i am trying to express.

you know i always say senseless stuffs and beat around the bush when all i want to say is just smthing small.

i am touched by your actions, and now i want you to be touched by mine.

not the touch you are thinking of right now you sucker. hahahaha.

no matter what happens in the future, i will love you kay.
no matter how fat you grow, i will look past your fats and love you kay.

and no matter how much porn you watch, i will forgive and love you kay. HAHAHA.

okay kidding.

dun always think that you love me more than i love you.

it's just that the way i treat the one i love is a little erm weird and selfish somehow, but the amt of love cannot be compared!

i truly love you.
i dunoe how long is forever, but i will try my very best kay. ^^

sincerely,

your gorgeous and loveliest girlf,

LEE JIA LE (L)

2012-02-09T11:10:00.000+08:00

currently watching this korean show 'need romance'. wun say that it is a very good show, just that it created alot of questions in my head.

what is love, really?
can you really just hold on to that relationship forever?
without any change, can you?
the way two people behave with each other will not change that easily. and once you get used to it, once you become comfortable, how would there be sparks to continue the r/s.
and eventually, would it be love? or would it be just commitment and responsibility?
i know i shouldnt think that far. but these insecurities get to me sometimes.

guys think a whole different way from girls.
for eg they can separate love and sex??
what if a boyf is physically attracted to another woman though he still loves you? what would you do? do you mind? he still loves you what. just physically attracted to a more attractive woman. :/
i used to think, if you love someone, you will find him/her the most attractive person in the whole wide world.
but perhaps, i am the only one who feels this way. perhaps you dun, he dun, she dun.
am i alone in this?
alone in this world of insecurity and uneasiness.
being through a few broken relationship made me find it hard to trust in relationships again. even up till now. even when i'm in a relationship. even if this doesnt make any sense to you.
this is why i throw tantrums, i get jealous, i do all kinds of unreasonable things, i try my best to get your attention like some whore.
i dun find myself attractive, not attractive enough to keep you by my side forever.
i dun have the confidence, dun have the confidence that i can make you love me forever.
fuck now im having issues.
i'm glad i have this little white box for me to pour out everything when i have weird thoughts.
i'm glad that this little box accompanied me when i need to vent the most.
being here means that i cant call anyone to talk. it sucks. cause typing on phone just isnt fast enough for me to write down my every single thought.
now i am crying. why am i so weird? it's not like i'm facing any relationship problems right now. at least, for now, tay loves me. i do know that.
but it's the fear that is gripping me. the fear of the future. the fear of the uncertainty. the fear of what a man's inner desires might result in the future. the fear of getting hurt if you trust someone again.
i feel so broken once again.
you think it's easy. getting out of a relationship, crying for a while till it doesnt hurt anymore, move on, get into another realtionship, getting out of a relationship, crying for a while till it doenst hurt anymore, ... and it goes on.
i can never seem to get over anything. i can never trust someone completely ever again. what do i do? what can i do? what should i do? i'm trying. trying as hard as i can. reminding myself every single day, hour, minute, second about what that person did for me and asking myself to trust.
but what do i do when my petty insecurity gets in the way?
when my wild imagination takes the roller coaster ride?
i'm a person full of suspicion. so full that i feel so suffocated by it. every small little thing you do, i think a thousand times about it. wondering if there is any hidden meaning.
how i wish i can lock you up in a cage so that you are mine and mine only and i would not have to worry anymore.
fuck this is so vulnerable.
i feel so vulnerable.
i feel so pathetic in fact.
im just this petty insecure distrustful suspicious pathetic insignificant person living in this world.
everything that you think is nothing. i think it's big.
thank you for giving in to me. by letting me invade your privacy whenever you want to. it's like being with me, you can't have any privacy at all. but yet you dun mind. i am really thankful for that.
i dun even know what i am doing now, thinking about all these stuffs. just that what i saw in the show refreshed all the hurt that i thought became scars.
people reading this must think that i am ridiculous. ~~but i dun fucking care okay. you dunoe what i have been through.~~ i still fucking care, fucking care about what everyone else think of me. i'm such a superficial person.
i want to appear nonchalant, appear cool, appear perfect in front of everyone.
i hate it when people criticizes me though i claim that i can take it. okay it does depend on the way you say it.
i hate it when people talks about how embarrassing i am. it's like you are not proud to know me. then why stick with me?
i hate it when people teases me 99% of the time. i know i have a red nose. stop reminding me that and fuck off and die bitch.
i am a vain person who only wants people to praise me.
ah jiale you so smart. ah jiale you so pretty. lol superficial.
i know that it's useless wanting these stuffs.
i'm being so honest and truthful now huh. lol.
i know i need to change, i need to improve, i need to be fixed.
lee jia le, you can't wait for somebody to do that do you. you have to do that to yourself. you have to stand up and be strong. when you face setbacks, you cant be praying for someone to settle it for you, you have to do it yourself. when people blame you for something they did wrong, you can't just feel accused and let tears come to your eyes, you have to stand up for yourself and scold that person. when people accuses you, you have to stand up for yourself cause noone else will.
despite all your weaknesses, i know you are a kind, caring, soft-hearted, honest girl.
that's enough right?
that's really enough.
you dun have to be pretty dun have to be skinny dun have to be attractive.
i know you want confidence. build it up. you can do it. be proud of who you are. do what i always remind you to. convert your weaknesses into your strengths.
jiale, think of all the people that love you. some might stop loving you once they realised who you truly are. but at least papa and mummy will always be there. they are the people who will love you unconditionally.
now now, you have cried enough. stop those tears. it's already 11. let's go and prepare for work.
even when everyone in the world leaves you and lets you down. you still have yourself. please be continue to be brave and smile. remember to smile. remember remember to smile.

cried at work for the first time.

2012-02-07T01:36:00.000+08:00

and customers saw.
understood why some were pissed but yet some were so sweet cause they see me trying my best.
i was sorry i broke down.
i never should have.
never wanted to show my vulnerable side.
cried not cause i felt sad or whatever.
but cause i felt pissed and accused.
and the tears just flowed cause i couldnt say a word to vent it. and for someone like me who ABSOLUTELY LOVES to complain. it's a pain being unable to explain or express whatever i wanna say.
i'm so sorry towards all the customers who waited for so long. i truly felt extremely guilty. :/ wanted to give them so much more but it's beyond my abilities.

on the other hand,
i love my lovely friends and boyf and okay maybe jiamin for like asking about me. esp tay who came online just cause i texted him about me being sad about my work and that i need to talk to him. :')
thank youuuu.
and my colleagues who tried their best to help me though they are as busy. T^T it was the busiest day in weeks or even months omgggg. SIGH :/
hungry now. eat my pocky? okay just one box and i will go wash my face and feet and brush my teeth and sleep.
tml will be a brighter day!!!! :)

2012-02-06T09:16:00.001+08:00

i was shocked at my own emotional response, and therefore reacted far too exaggeratedly that i eventually din know how to end it.
i'm sorry.
should have never acted that way. should have never threw my tantrum.
i have no idea what this means.
perhaps i slowly became like you? in the sense that these doesn't matter to me anymore. cause to you these are always trivial and somehow i changed my perspectives as well without me knowing it?
i could never understand why you can always seem so nonchalant. but now, i feel like i am the one being nonchalant.
it's like a 'so what?' and 'whatever....' situation. it's just nothing. just that i used to make everything out of nothing that i am shocked that i sdnly felt like it's nothing?
maybe that's how it's supposed to be and perhaps i have overcame that 'fear' which accompanied me for the past five years. O.O
cause i rmb i used to be like this, like right now, five years ago - nonchalant. HAHA.
i know what i said to you last night and i don't know how much hurt it caused you.
sigh. :/
i'm sorry i love you.

NO LONGER GRUMPY! HEE~

2012-02-05T23:31:00.000+08:00

i am no longer grumpy even though i am still counting down to the end of my work today! hahahahaha.

was kind of really happy todayyy!! ^^

just working for the sake of working and stopped thinking about all those negative thoughts.

a change of perspective can really make a big jump in your life.

pardon my chui face i woke up at 5plus this morning okay. >:(

was talking to sebas and i came to realise that perspectives is really very impt.

and it all depends on yourself.

whether if you want to change your perspectives etc etc.

got him to change his perspectives and i have no idea if i was successful but i hope i was.

because if i was, then he would feel alot happier i guess. :)

life is all about making choices.

you choose to stay or leave.

you choose to change or remain.

you choose to fall or climb.

you choose your point of view in the various situations you meet.

and i thought of this when we were talking. and it's an understanding from a combi of many things i saw.

"even if you were to be reborn, if you were to live the exact same way you did, you will still fall for the same person and commit the same stupid mistakes. so, there is no point in people saying that they want a time machine or anything related to go back in time to change history. they might as well say they want to be able to predict the future."

true true???
i find this very true to me myself. though it's like my "own" quote. HAHAHAHA.

suckertay is sending me photos of him eating sushis. downloading in process......
okay. me very sad now.

BEING ATTACHED.

2012-02-04T22:16:00.000+08:00

THIS TITLE IS WEIRD.

but then againnnn,
it's only recently when i found out certain people getting attached. O.O

HMMM MMM HMMM MMM.
WHEN IS MY CLARA AND HYRAH AND CHERYL AND XUELI AND HUIWEN AND YINGJIE AND GUOWEI AND JERVIS AND SHAUN GONNA GET ATTACHED AGAIN/FOR THE FIRST TIME/CAUSE I NEVER SEE BEF!?!?!?!?!?
THEN AFTERDAT EVERYONE CAN GET MARRIED AND INVITE ME TO THEIR WEDDING DINNERS CAUSE I LOVE ATTENDING WEDDING DINNERS HEHEHEHE. all the food... *-*

and i found out a certain few broke up. D: dun like to see people breaking up.
but then again, sometimes i can't help but feel that certain couples should have broken up long ago. oopssss.
it's not cause i'm like judging them or what.
it's just that i feel that my friend is losing out in terms of how the other party is treating him/her in my point of view. :/
SIGHHHH. i just want the people around me to be happyyy~~~~~

okay now i'm just trying to change the perspectives of how i view my work.
so that i will be less grumpy and be more cheerful. keke. ^^
like how this chef told me this morning,

"you are here for internship, here to learn, not work.
if they scold you, whatever, who caressss, you are still learning.
if they blame you for being irresponsible, whatever, who caressss, you are soooo young it's as if you are still a child, you have yet to reach the age of being responsible.
dun treat this as if you are working, treat this as if you are playing~~~"

he totally made me and ahyi laugh so much when we were chatting. HAHA.

and it totally struck me on the head that everytime i think of my dream job, it will be a job that is like outdoor-ish and yet having an office, cause to me i will have lots of fun.
so it's like i want a job that i can have fun, a job that is like where i can playyyy~~~
so why not treat it as playing instead of working~~~
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
it's not my hotel anywayyy~~ HAHAHAHA.
okay i will still work like i am supposed to. but then i will try and have fun!
though i dunoe how to but okay i will tryyyy??

i should go back to entertaining myself like singing songs or talking to myself.
AHHH I MISS TALKING TO MYSELF. and acting to myself.
yes i do act to myself.
like i imagine scenes of all kinds of 'plays' and i act it to myself, like randomly, even on the streets.
so sometimes people see me doing faces to myself. HAHAHAHA.
sigh i miss that part of me.
okay shall do that tml~~~
I DUN CARE! HMPH! >:)

i'm so grumpy.

2012-02-03T20:14:00.000+08:00

i'm so grumpy.

i'm a complain queen.

i can't stop complaining.

i'm killing myself with my grumpiness.

i can't lift my mood up.

i can barely smile nowadays.

can you feel how grumpy i am over here?

i am grumps.

i don't feel like me.

i can cry like any moment whilst i am here.

i don't even have the energy to work.

strolling in the park is a nice way of describing how i walk during work.

walking like the zombies in L4D is then the not-so-nice description.

i want me back so badly.

i need to go out. go far far away. i just need to go out to playyy.

but it's so far from everywhere here.

and i feel like dying everytime i step out of my room into the bathroom.

how do i even step out into the freezing cold outside? :/

the happy me on monday disappeared with a poof like she nv existed.

this sucks.

i know how people have been encouraging me.

but it's kind of useless?

cause i can't think of anyone of you who would understand.

i am probably someone who needs to be working/literally doing something all the time.

i feel like i can't just waste my time here.

it's like degrading me? if you get what i mean.

i need to get a move on with life. :/

okay probably certain guys who are undergoing ns now might understand how i feel right now.

it's like you are stuck, and you feel like you are neither here nor there, just stuck and unable to move forward not cause you din try or you refuse too, but cause the circumstances bound you tight.

sigh. okay i should stop complaining.

though it doesnt stop my thoughts from running to wherever it wants to.

bye.

counting down.

2012-02-02T21:14:00.000+08:00

sigh tears formed in my eyes as i flipped through the cny photos my family took. :(
how i miss them.
how i wished i was in singapore during cny. :(

18 more shifts to go.
22+ days till i end my internship.
24+ days till i reach singapore.
i cant wait.

food poisoning.

2012-02-01T22:18:00.000+08:00

both me and ahyi are down with food poisoning ohmygoddddd.

this sucks.
though i think ahyi's seem more serious than mine.
cause she is having diarrhea and i am not. HAHAHA.
okay but i am still vomiting up till now. D:

we should never have ate that stupid cheesecake last night.
and we should never have treated our cold living room as a fridge. T^T
and conc: please do not eat cheesecakes which are not stored in fridges okay. :(

stomach still squirming now. D:
this sucks. life sucks.
din bathe or wash my face or anything today. D:
woke up at 5pm and now i feel like sleeping alr. D:
practically din sleep the whole night last night. T^T
half conscious all the way sigh.
tml still need to report to work at 7am.
please give me more energy to carry on. tyvm.

2012-01-31T17:21:00.002+08:00

i am so fucking unhappy here.

the greatest ability of my hotel:
to be able to screw people up over and over again no matter what happens.

it's a happy day~

2012-01-31T01:09:00.001+08:00

i am feeling much much much happier today as compared to ytd when ALLL the negative thoughts infiltrated my mind. heh.

felt abit more like myself too. the retarded and cheerful me. ^^

hope such situation will improve HEHEHE.

on the side note,

i'm also really glad that i called tay and wished him happy birthday like kind of personallyyy (since it's over the phone and not like face to faceee)

and that retarded arvin and junwen kept shouting at the phone at me HAHAHA while i shouted back at them okay it's super retarded when tay is holding onto the phone BUTTTT we can still hear each other WAHAHAHAHAHA.

i heard them praising me chio HIAHIAHIAHIAHIA.

and tay said his friends thought i was his sister aft seeing our photos tgthr on fb and scolded him for not intro-ing LOLOLOLOLOL. (<- i find it too funny to use 'HAHAHAHAHA' cause y'knowwww i dun usually use 'lol')

WHY DO THEY EVEN THINK WE ARE SIBLINGS!?!?!?!?

OMGGGG NAN DAOOOOOO we look alike A.K.A we have 夫妻脸(direct trans: husband-wife face)!?!?!?

look alike to you anot? HAHAHA.

i specially went to look for one which we have the same expression kayyy!!!

awww so sweet of me. ^^

sigh today brought my camera out but as usuallll i din take any photos AT ALL. D:

need to like use my camera more often alr. T^T /sobsobs my poooor camera~

but i will try and use it more often kayy!

just that my hands are usually like freezing and i can barely take them out of my pocketssss,

not to mention using them to get the camera out of my bag and take photos nonstop. :(

ANYWAYYY,

went to qibao todayyy!

it was quite fun?

but the whole place stinks okayyy.

cause of smelly tofu ew ew ew ew ew.

kept pushing ahyi to move faster whenever i smell any smelly tofu around. D:

and now everytime i take in a deep breath, i still feel wafts of smelly tofu smell lingering inside of my nostrils. D:

WHY MY NOSTRILS SO BIG SO THAT SMELLY TOFU SMELL CAN HIDE INSIDE!?!? D:

OHNONONONONONONONO~

and something quite fruitful was thattttt we went to this really cute cafe which sells postcards and books.

it's like a library cafeeeee~

and you can like send postcards to yourself in the futureeee. or anyone else in that matter.

HEHH. cool right!? ^^

so i sent one to myself on my bday next yearrr.

wonder if i will rmb this little present i bought myself next year. heh.

ohh and you can also buy the postcards if you'd like. and of course it will be cheaper than getting them to send it for you~

(started thinking if i should like open a cafe with similar concept in the future. always wanted a little shop of my own ever since young. and then the seats will all be like wooden swings or tyres. and i will grow those little flowers around the window sill in the vatican/european style which my mum loves. heh.)

went to nanjing east road afterwards to shop for my dad's iphone case and this is what i bought him:

NICE NOT!? see properly it's transformer car lehhh!

think it will be kinda cute if my dad uses such a case HEHEHE.

and then cause my toothpaste is finishing and i certainly not want to buy too huge a tube so that i dun have to bring it home.....

damn cute right it's like DAMNNNN small (cause it's smaller than my face HAHA) and i can like just use one tube and bring home the other twoooo.

so cute loh i dun see such small ones in sg CHEH!

okay not trying to imply that cheenaland is better NOOOO.

cheenaland will never be better than my beloved lahlohlehland. :')

and cause i know there will be people missing him due to him not appearing in my blog for like about a month,

my beloved captain which i still hug to sleep after all these monthssss.

sigh my beloved toilet bowl is like stuck once again aft me and ahyi shitted consecutively PLUS throwing all those toilet paper inside. :(
cheenaland's toilet paper is unlike that of lahlohlehland. :( it is not soluble. SIGH x 1mil.
so now it's tooooo embarrassing to ask the people to unchoke our toilet bowl for like the THIRD TIME and i would probably like go and buy the sucking-thing-whose-name-i-forgot tml. :(
OR SHLD I JUST BORROW IT FROM THE PPL DOWNSTAIRS!?
okay shall try my luck in borrowing or else i will just go buy it. :x
AND TML IS PAYDAYYYY!! (okay technically today) AND I SHALL GO COLLECT MY PAY TML WAHAHAHAHAHAHA RICH GIRL IS MOI~

okay it's time to go back to my PRINCE OF TENNIS WAHAHAHAHA.

awesome anime kay it teaches me the importance of passion, motivation and determination.

I LUB IT. HEHE.

YOU CAN WATCH IT TOOOO!

DOWNLOAD IT ON FUNSHION RIGHT NOW!

p.s ECHIZEN RYOMA IS SO DAMN SHUAI HEHEHE he is obv like the main characterrrrr!! have been loving him since like when i was sec 1 kekeke /shys

p.p.s I WOULD ENTER SEIGAKU IF IT WAS A REAL SCHOOL OMGGG COOOLLSHITZZZZ

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED.

2012-01-30T00:00:00.000+08:00

AND YOU ARE NOW 22 YEARS OLDDDD!!
/throwsfireworksandallkindsofnoisyhappystuffs

YOU ARE SO OLD ALREADY OMGGGG.
and i am ~~rather~~ very sad that i am not there with you to go crazy with you and everything. :( SIGH.

i know i have been negative these few days and you dunoe how to deal with me being like that but i will be okay.
one more month till i appear by your side okay!!
and you wun have to deal with qns from your relatives asking you where is your lovable and pretty gf anymore WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

though i am not physically with you, you know i'm there mentally kayyy!
so must stay happy forever!! ^^
HIAHIAHIAHIAHIAHIA YOU KNOW I LUB YOU!! (L)

2012-01-29T19:37:00.000+08:00

you know,
it's really difficult to stay in a place which you already condemned as somewhere which will hinder you.
every moment that i stay here is a pain, a suffering, and time wasted which i will never get back.

like i told ahyi,
whatever i gained here, the me which grew here,
it's not worth it at all. so not worth.
yes undeniably, i grew so much here.
but this growth, wouldnt be of any difference if i were to stay in singapore.
i didn't have any exceptional discovery of myself which i thought i would gain.
instead, i grew to hate this place and how it made me changed.
i became someone i dunoe anymore.
someone whom im ashamed of.
someone who is pessimistic, unhappy, miserable, etc etc.

this has been such a lousy overseas experience for me.
in the very first month here, i was happy.
and as time passes, i realised that it just sucks.
my life paused ever since i came here.
i need my life back.
i need the real me back.
i need to go back to singapore before all these drive me crazy.
i'm gonna go insane.
i am wasting my time, wasting a part of my life which i will never get back.
i have already wasted four months of my life.
this is so not worth it.
i cant take this any longer.
lee jia le, i need you back so damn much i need you back.

If you truly love someone,

2012-01-29T13:47:00.001+08:00

NEVER ask for a breakup.

it's not okay to think that you will be hurting him/her if remain tgthr, because it will hurt so much more far more than you can ever imagine.

and this is not being great, giving up your r/s just like that and thinking that you are doing what you can to protect him/her.

this is called selfish and self-centred. and that you love yourself more.

dun have the mindset that it will be okay in the long-term.

it will never be okay.

the impact left will never be erased.

it will warped the person's personality and mindset and behavior in ways unimaginable.

i believe that when you jump into a r/s,

you already made preparation to give time, give effort, give love in order to make everything work out.

nothing can stop you from working it out.

everything can be solved if you will.

if you need more freedom, tell him/her.

if you need more private time, tell him/her.

whatever you need, just talk about it and compromise.

i rmb i saw this line somewhere in some books/shows i read/watched before:

compromising is when you give me two options you can live with and i choose the one that i can live with.

and i came to find this line so damn true.

sigh, i hope i did not cause you any more hurt and that i truly helped.

whatever i did, i did it to protect you. and i know you know that.

i hope you will be okay.

you are the only one who can help yourself in this kinda situation.

the best i can do is to be with you.

remember that i love you. :)

btw look at tay yin ji that sucker commenting on my prev post below:

SUCKERTAY JIU SHI SUCKERTAY D:

i'm like dying to get back to singapore.

2012-01-27T00:17:00.000+08:00

you have no idea how much i miss singapore right now okay.

i feel like i'm wasting my life here.

YES MY LIFE.

it's like my life is paused and i am in this endless dream which just goes on and on meaninglessly.

this just sucks.

my life will only continue when i get back to singaporeeeeeeee.

SINGAPORE WO AI NI!!!

mum asked me if i would stay overseas for an extended period of time if given another chance, and i told her, never would i if the place in mention is any part of China. :(

this comes right from the bottom of my heart.

i swear i will never get used to the culture, the habits and behavior of the people here.

it is just outrageously indescribable okay.

not gonna talk much cause i'm afraid that if i criticise too much here you will see me next on stomp. HAHAHAHA.

HEADLINE: SINGAPORE STUDENT WHO CRITICISED CHINA AFTER HAVING INTERNSHIP THERE FOR 23WEEKS

so yeaaaaa. HAHAHAHA.

and i miss drinking cold drinks so much. T^T

had like icecream two days back cause i reallllllllllllly craved for it. :(

I MISS MY MILO PENG. :(

and i miss drinking cold starbucks drinks. :(

I'M SO GONNA BUY MY WHITE MOCHA FRAPPE THE NEXT TIME I GO STARBUCKS EVEN IF IT MEANS I'M GONNA FREEZE TO DEATH OKAY.

having like tons of pimples on my face now. :(

shld have drank more waterrrrr. D:

shall drink more water from now on i swearrrr.

miss tumblr-ing so much. omg i need to return to singapore immediatelyyyyy. hehh.

now the below damn chio photo is for those who are missing my lovely face. HAHAHAHA.

then for those who wanna see like the current real me,

sorry for my chui eyes cause i have been like sleeping at like 2plus and waking up at 5plus for the past few days. and i hate my disobedient hair aft tying it up for the whole day cause of work okay. :(

act yi ge dunoe i taking photos HAHAHAHA.

okay look abit more normal aft trying to tidy my hair but to no avail. :(

.......

AND NOW FOR THE PHOTO WHICH I KNOW YOU PEOPLE LOVE THE MOST.

TROLLING TROLOLOLOLOLOL

HAPPY LOOOOOONG YEAR~ ^^

2012-01-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

it's the year of the dragon (ROARRRRR!!) now so HAPPY LOOOOOONGGG YEAR~
HEHEHEHE.

well, i don't have much peektures for this cny so i'm just not gonna upload kay. :P

anywayyy, had my 'reunion dinner' with the rest of the interns on cny eve~~~
but cause of my throat i couldn't eat like almost everything. T^T
sad maxxxx.
and then they headed to our apartment to catch 春晚.
yes it's that cheena show which they watch and count down to chu yi.
and the theme was 'going home for cny' and ALL of us teared at that vid. T^T
sad kids who just wanna go home for cnyyyyyy!!!!
anyway okay the show was quite good this year cause of the stage effects which made everything seemed 3d. HEH HEH.
but i would rather watch sg's cny show like the past year and watching them play boring games and running around chinatown etc etc. hahahaha.
good ole' traditions are always the best!

ON CHU YI!
went to pizzahut for some beef lasagne and then walked around and headed back to waigaoqiao where our dear SIMONNNN treated us dinner. HEHEHE.
was super full and headed home and fancy came to find us afterwards.
head out to the SUPER COLD night (it's like SUPER DUPER COLD these few days with the wind blowing nonstop T^T) to kfc where tina, lisa, vanessa, huahua and stella is~~
nua-ed there for some time before me ahyi, tina and fancy headed to discooooo~
yes it's like disco and not club. D:
met some weird guy wtfff and he treated us all to supper and we ended up going home at 3.30am SERIOUSLYYYY.
i hate that guy who kept trying to hit on me wtf i'm alr engaged okay. HAHAHAHAHA.
okay enough of him he give me the chills and creeps~

and today's chu er alr and basically nua-ed at home the whole day and i have to work like early morning tml this sucksss. :( gotta wake up at 5.30am siannn. HOPE I GET TO GO HOME SUPER EARLY PLEASEEEEE!!

2012-01-18T23:17:00.000+08:00

sigh honestly i feel like it has been ages since i last updated my life!?!?!?

but you can't possibly have me updating with things like "OHHHH so-and-so company came to have dinner in Crowne Meeting Room 1 with 10 tables with the hosting table of 16pax and the remaining tables with 10pax" EVERYDAY right!?

sigh i need abit more of life.
not even going out on my off days anymore.
hardly have any common off days with ahyi alr. T^T
next week baa! CNY!! YAY HEY!
but we still have to go work. THIS SUCKSSSS.

OHH i know what i can update about my life alr.
for the past few days i was sick.
and i took mc for monday and today. have off ytd and tml. so basically i will be resting for four days. WOAH.
but i only took two days mc leh. HEHE.
and STOPPPPPPPPPPPP if you are going to envy me. cause don't.
if you hear me right now, you wouldn't be able to recognise me just like my many colleagues who called to ask about me. HAHAHA.
and i had a high fever of 39.9degrees on monday kay. dun play play.
and though my fever subsided ytd, my colleague who called me insisted on me staying home today cause my throat last night was still horrible. T^T

OHH OHH OHH! and last night was the 'cny reunion dinner' for all the interns and the gm!!
and the food was like *-*
though i couldnt eat like all the chicken and the glutinous rice BOOHOOHOOOOO!!
but i ate the icecream since noone seemed to object to it and i din ask anyone if i shld eat it BAHAHAHAHAHA.
the dessert was awesome yooo!!

okay that's all about my THOROUGHLY EXCITINGGGGG life recently. -_-
DYING TO GET BACK TO SINGAPOREEEE MY HOMELAND~ IT'S HERE THAT I BELONG~ ALL OF US, UNITED, ONE PEOPLE MARCHING ON~~~~~
feeling so patriotic all of a sudden WAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
dying to sleep on my bed instead of this hard wooden-like bed. :(
alr dreaming of my soft bed despite that one spoiled spring, and my smelling-oh-so-good bolster which i was snuggle my face into, and my cute pillow which is already half of its original size (same age as me of course will shrink lah!) :')
i miss them SOOOOOO much.
and also my huge ass tv HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
nowhere will be better than home. :'(
after this trip, i will treasure my home MORE THAN ANYWHERE ELSE. hohohohohohoho.

2012-01-18T22:56:00.000+08:00

despite the unfortunate event i met, i am thankful because:
when i cry, someone will feel heartbroken.
when i missed a call, someone will feel worried.
when i'm unhappy, someone will try and cheer me up.
when i'm feeling troubled, someone will support me.

they may not be the same person, and definitely not just one person, and that makes me the most blissful girl in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD~~~~~~~
(L) all these lovely people. :')

2012-01-18T12:15:00.000+08:00

there are things which i know that i have to face bravely, all by myself.
no one can help me, and the only way is to be strong and resilient.
life is not smooth all the time, and this is just one big obstacle which i have to scale by myself.
i'm grateful for all the support for i know i'm not alone.
whenever i feel weak and vulnerable, i think of all these lovely people and tell myself, "be strong, don't cry, be brave, they are here for you."

thank you, my dearests, for being my pillars of strength.

2012-01-16T20:59:00.001+08:00

praying that it's a false alarm.

2012-01-14T03:33:00.001+08:00

it's difficult to live.
and that's the reason why we have to make it worthwhile.

negative

2012-01-12T02:17:00.002+08:00

the calculative side is showing.
not only that, the well-hidden selfishness and meanness are in sight.
my fear is growing.
i have no idea what is happening.
should i try and embrace it?
should i stop plastering it up with soggy paper soaked with glue?
is all the negatives showing cause my tolerance is reaching its limits?

i really dislike people who take me for granted.
and i really dislike people who touch my stuffs without my permission.
and even more so when the 'stuffs' in question are perishable and they finish it without considering if i need it or not. (to emphasize my point, the things belong to me/i obtained them from somewhere)

fyi, i just din want to use the word 'hate' for its strong meaning.

somehow, i am someone who is independent in that sense that i do things or keep/tidy my own belongings without needing any help unless i ask for it.
i'm somewhat stubborn like that.
i have my own principles, my own mindset, my own thinking.
and it's extremely difficult to sway them once i am set.
if you think it's easy to change my mind, then it's probably cause i was originally sitting on the fence.
sigh.

2012-01-11T02:00:00.000+08:00

ohh fuck yes the academic requirement of 3.0gpa that i was worrying about to get into UNLV for the tourism bachelor course is only for international students and not applicable for us!!!

so now thats one problem which disappeared, which leads us to the next - the tuition fees of nearly S$10,000 per year AFTER SUBSIDIES. :/
okay that tuition fees is for AY2011/2012 so i dunoe what about AY2012/2013 but i can only hope that it doesn't increase or if it does, the increase is minute.

is there any other good universities that i can try out for? D:
cause i know that the application is like around this period. sigh.
the starting application date for UNLV is 1Feb till the end of March. thank god it's till the end of march :')
and they need our results slip die liao i threw away almost all(?) the result slips that our school mail to us. D:
you think they would print us another copy of the result slips if i went to SSC to ask for it? :/
or can i print screen from npal? T^T

anyone else interested in universities as well?
let's go together!

2012-01-11T00:00:00.002+08:00

it's that time of the month again~~
and omg time really flies!!!!
one more month to our first anniversaryyyy!!
though i couldn't be there with you, i hope you think of me all day long okay you sucker.
i lub lub you hiahiahiahiahia deeper than seeeeeeeeeeee~~
unlike you this heartless de gougouuuu.
hiahiahia wait for me to be backkkk! :D:D:D
we shall celebrate our one year and one month anniversary tgthr okay HAHAHAHA!! <3

2012-01-10T18:28:00.000+08:00

In this world of deceit and intrigue, I fight vigorously by pouring more heart, love and care into this seemingly never-ending black hole.

my first blister D:

2012-01-08T23:26:00.002+08:00

as in the kind with this big bubble-like blister. D:

it came about cause one night i was stupidly hugging my BOILING HOT water bottle to sleep with it touching my bare skin. T^T

i din wrap any towel around it or wear long sleeves myself. D:

and most retardedly, i did not discover the wound by waking up cause of the pain, but only when i woke up in the morning for work. which means that i alr got burnt hours ago. D:

sigh and everyone was surprised at my retardedness T^T /crying

AND SO HERE IS A PICTURE OF MY VERY FIRST BLISTER TO SHARE WITH EVERYONE!! :D

this is taken on the first day i got it. HAHAHAHA.

now, it is a little softer with more wrinkles on it. which means that it is becoming smaller! YAY!! ^^

btw i really look forward so much to going home. looking forward so much to sleeping on my own soft bed again.

the bed here really sucks. it is so freaking hard. even tay who is usually 'anything~' about everything asked me why is the bed so hard. D:

sigh and ahyi told me that i am always snoring.

and tay told me that he heard me snoring for the very first time when he came here to stay and ask me if i'm really very tired cause that's usually the case when one snores. :/

i have to be honest that i never had a good night's sleep ever since i got here.

every night my back will feel strained cause of the hard bed and i wouldn't be able to lie facing up with my butt holding up the bottom of my back which makes it unable to truly lie flat on the bed.

and then i would twist my body such that my chest is facing the side but my tummy will be facing down. :/ cause if i lay by my side, i will be leaning on my hipbone and it hurts alot cause of the stupid bed.

and EVERY FREAKING NIGHT i am dreaming.

and when you dream, you dun truly get to sleep. :/ cause your brain is working hard on your dreams D:

and FINE I DREAM, but what do i dream of? not pretty butterflies and flowers and me dancing in the sunny meadow or whatsoever. I DREAM OF MYSELF WORKING AND SERVING IRRITATING CUSTOMERS AND WTF ARE THESE DREAMS!?!?!? D:

i miss ~~singapore~~ ~~my home~~ my bed.

/edit at 11.38pm which is like only 10++mins aft i posted this post FUCKKKK i burst my blister accidentally while reaching for the bakgua i hate bakgua now it was super pain and ahyi was literally pulling me to wash my wound T^T I AM DYING OF THE PAIN RIGHT NOW AND I TEARED SO MUCH OMGGG T^T okay end of ranting.

2012-01-04T23:49:00.000+08:00

to be honest, i always thought you are that one person i wun be able to forget.
but before i realised it, i alr forgot you. and i hope this is not just some wish-thinking of mine.
and i found that better someone for me. :)
you were right, it is indeed better for me in the long term despite the pain i went through.
i have to thank you. :)

2012-01-04T22:37:00.000+08:00

HELLO i am back again cause i just realised that i'm like supposed to blog about what happened during the past 2011 on the very last day just like everyone else and i haven done so even though it's four days into the new year alr.

i just wanna say, there have been alot of ups and downs in the year 2011.

i've gotten together with ahtay, i had an awesome bday celebration/surprise with my girls, i screwed up my last studying sem, i struggled through the suffocating projects, i flew to china for my internship, etc etc.

i'm proud to say that i have grown stronger, more independent, more understanding, more caring.

though some weaknesses i have, such as being bad tempered and irritable, still exist in me somehow.

okay and that is perhaps cause it's that time of the month again. and i just feel that i have to apologise to my dear tay for venting some of that on him on his last day in shanghai.

the past one year was good and bad but mostly good.

and i wun ask/expect too much in this new year.

i will just hope that there will be more good things than bad things!

it doesn't have to be better than last year. as long as it's not worse since i had some really bad times then.

missing singapore like mad. so i know this year, there will at least be one good thing happening - me returning to singapore!! HEHEHE.

awaiting for the times when i get back and graduate and go for all the graduation trips though i am not sure if i have the money HAHAHA.

me and tay planning to go on a trip together as well!! hiahiahia.

OHH and in this coming year, i hope that there will be a wedding dinner for me to attend when i get back to singapore cause i have alr missed like three or four!! (two from my family and one/two from tay's)

i also hope that everyone that i know and love will have a super healthy body and will be safe throughout the year!!

i hope to remain as blissful as i feel right now with all these lovely people with me heh.

okay i should go downstairs to meet my friends for supperrrr! hiahiahia. /prayidungrowfatinthiscomingyeartoo

a bobo (kiss in korean) for youuuu! (L)

okay so,

2012-01-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

in the end im not gonna post any photos here cause i had a like busy day today!?

waking up at 11plus and then uploading my photos on my fb here by request by ahtay.

please do not judge my ugly hair cause i haven trimmed it since like forever and i just trimmed it today OHYAYY!

then i watched my City Hunter OMGGG LEE MINHO WHY YOU SO SHUAI!!?!?!? while waiting for ahyi to wake up and i went to bathe and went to change our laundry together.

then back home again to leave our laundry and went out to tabao our breakfast/lunch/dinner (YES WE ONLY HAD ONE MEAL TODAY) to Nicole and Emma's to eat.

after eating and looking through photos and playing and fooling around, we went to wash and cut our hair omg so shiok okay.

first they helped us to wash our hair, then dug our ears (i almost typed nose instead of ears HAHAHAHAHA) and massage and finally trimmed our hair.

the guy who helped me cut my hair quite shuai HEHEHEHEHE.

WHATTTTT GOT BF ALSO CAN SEE SHUAI GE RIGHT!?!? HAHAHAHAHAHA.

okayyy anywayyyy i took a super long time to decide whether to cut my fringe and im glad i did cause it seriously irritates me to no end.

if my hair grows too long again when im still here i will definitely return to trim it again HIAHIAHIA.

okayyy so a picture of me with a properly trimmed hair since i know most of you miss me. ^^

kekekekekeke kind of like my new hair though my fringe is still kind of long but i wun be able to pin it up if it was any shorter boohoohoooooo.

anywayyyy, a friend intro-ed me to a movie titled '初恋，这件小事' saying that the female lead looks like me but i think it looks more like this friend whom ppl said looks like me so i suppose the female lead does look like me?

you can go watch it to see for yourself but i REALLY think the show is very niceeeeee!! and THE BIGGEST PLUS POINT IS THAT WALAO EH THE MALE LEAD REALLY SHUAI LIKE CRAZY HAHAHAHAHAHA.

okay now, the pictures of the shuai-est guy in the universe. HAHAHAHAHA.

the one who says that he is EVEN MORE shuai than WANG LEE HOM HIMSELF OMGGGGXZXZXZX.

and recently i have gotten hold of some photos which prove him being cruel to animalssss. D:

i hope the SPCA or some other organization which fights against animal cruelty catches him soon. T^T

it's the end of the visits

2012-01-02T20:51:00.000+08:00

and i'm having some kind of post withdrawal D:
this kind of sucks. sigh.

anywayy. family came to visit me HOHO and brought them wherever i can.
whatever dad said about this trip is solely for me made me REALLLL touched. :')
they arrived in the morning on the 23rd and left at night on the 28th. :(
tay came on the 26th in the morning and i went to fetch him and he just left this aftnn. T^T

i have to admit that i cried the instant i hugged my dad.
i din cry at all when i saw tay. there was just this gush of relief i have no idea why which washed over me.
when i bid goodbye to my family for the last time i almost teared. and i cried when i held onto tay unwilling for him to enter the departure gates.
i guess all's fair HAHAHA.

i REALLY wanna put some photos here since it's all words.
sigh blog also kind of no mood alr cause of the slow internet speed. D:
i shld be free-er tml~~~
shall spam pictures kay!
but no promisessss~

2011-12-18T17:23:00.000+08:00

i dunoe where to go to express my joy that i will be seeing that suckertay's face in like in one week and two days' timeeeeeee.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
you dunoe how happy i am though one week and two days doesnt seem that short actually. HAHAHAHA.

and of course WEEPEE to seeing my family in less one week's time HIAHIAHIA.
i am such a fortunate girl to have so much love from so many peopleeeeeeee~~

though i am often greedy as i want moreeeeee. HEHEHEHE.

looking forward to me and clara's marche date on the day marche opens a new branch in northpoint/sunplaza/ssc HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

2011-12-17T23:23:00.001+08:00

he reminds me so much of you.
the way he smiles, the way he talks, certain expressions he gives, certain angles from where i'm looking at him and even his laughter, it all just seems so much like yours.

it doesnt actually hurts like how it did in the past, where i felt like there is this gaping black hole within me sucking my soul and chewing my heart and making it hard for me to breathe.
it just feels like there is this dent which can never be repaired.
you are that dent.

he made me started thinking the past. how it was like and everything.
i don't actually regret. but maybe i do, a little, to a certain degree.
you were everything, but now you are just kind of a stranger.
it just feels weird.
because you were the one who understood me so much, wayyyy before everything started and ended.
i just missed that kind of relationship we shared where you can understand what i was trying to express and couldnt.
i cannot deny that i do miss you. so badly.
miss your innocent laughters and clear eyes cause i know you are always the truest to the people around you.
i need more real people like you around me.
people who dun try and hide how they truly feel because they are afraid that you would dislike them etc etc.
i wonder if you miss me sometime.
afterall, i was once impt to you, right?

it's funny how once people can be so impt to you and yet like strangers as time passed.
you are one, but yet there is her as well.
as to you, i'm still not comfortable to initiating convers, as i always do, since in the past, you are forever the one initiating convers with me hahahaha.
as to her, i tried. i tried calling, i tried texting, but to no avail.

my little girl, my little star, do you still rmb me?
rmb this little girl you piggybacked all the time?
rmb the time when we celebrated our birthdays tgthr?
rmb the girl whom tried to block you from shooting but fail miserably all the time?
rmb how i used to pat you on your back nonstop just to comfort you while you were crying?
rmb how you would scold me and call yourself my didi?
rmb how you would always laugh at me and yet treat me so well?
do you rmb how we talked about leaving our homes and stay tgthr in the future?
i still kept that drawing you drew for me and placed it on my study table where i could see it often.
i miss you my little star.
the brightest star in the whole universe.
i wish you could see this. so much so.

2011-12-17T17:54:00.000+08:00

my internship...

for now, i'm only hoping not to fail. :(
was complaining to my colleague and i held back my tears.
called tay and tears swell in my eyes while i still tried to control it cause i was still outside.
and once i stepped into my doorstep, tears flowed like running tap. :(
why oh why do you have to do this to me?
am i really that bad in your eyes?
or do you just wanna escape the explanation parts?
it's so unfair cause you are judging while wearing those coloured specs.
i dun wanna fail. i want my diploma. :(

a little side story from the warrior girl fairytale,

2011-12-10T20:26:00.001+08:00

As brave as warrior girl always seem, she still has her fears - storks.

You may think it's weird, but it's definitely without reasons. One huge contributor is that throughout her tough journey, there is this particular stork which follows warrior girl wherever she goes. It's creepy even. It would loom behind her in the darkness but she could feel it, and hairs would stand on her spine. It often peeks at what she is doing over her head using its long neck, and not say a word - for storks are mute. Though it does make a noise once or twice, but that's enough to freak warrior girl out and cause her to run as fast as she could to the nearest hiding place where her beloved friends in nature - trees and flowers - would shield her from it. Everytime she happens to look in the direction of the stork, she would see it shunning behind a leaf, as if it helps. Warrior girl can only pray that the stork would never try and get too close to her throughout her journey.

2011-12-08T02:30:00.001+08:00

有没有人可以来救我？

Let me tell you a fairytale,

2011-12-08T01:39:00.001+08:00

and like all fairytales, it goes like this:

Once upon a time, long long ago, there lived a little girl who stayed in a small little town with her happy family. But, there is just this one dream that this little girl has - to become the greatest warrior in the whole world. In order to do so, she would have to leave her beloved village and family to sought the wisdom and skills hidden in the Ancient Warrior Mysteries, said to be a myth.

She then climbed tall mountains, swam icy rivers, walked rocky paths. Throughout her journey, she met kind villagers who allowed her to stay in their homes for a night, sometimes with some bread as her meals. But she met even more bandits who took all her belongings while she slept by the fire she made herself.

It was tough as her once beautiful and smooth limbs were scarred, the blisters on her feet and hands grew blisters, and her once soft face toughen. She braved through all the storm and gales that the heavens gave her and finally, she reached her destination, the Beasts Mountain.

The Beasts Mountain received its name as it is decorated with big and small caves all around it, making it seem like a mountain with many eyes at night as the moonlight casts upon it, creating shadows. Additionally, the biggest cave of the lot hid a two-headed monster, one male one female, whose eyes can shoot deadly poisoned arrows.

HOHO yes the story have yet to end, but to find out whether warrior girl won in the end, please wait till i have received my grades for my internship next year and then i will be able to tell you. :) okay bye.

loves (L)

2011-12-07T00:00:00.004+08:00

There are simply so many things that I like.
It's so difficult to find something that I love.

some of the favourite things i truly love; Milo, Penguin, Baby's Breath, Clover, Starry Nightsky

and thennn. i have no idea what else I truly love and are on the top of the favourites list.
as i said, there are simply too many things that i like.

it's so hard for me to decide what i truly love and state what is my favourite (insert word) and it can actually take me years to find out.
until now, i have no favourite food no favourite colour and so on and so forth.
sometimes i feel like there are so many things which i like but nothing which i truly love.
so when I do find something i love so much, i will hold onto it for as long as i can.

you have no idea how much i envy people who can name their favourite colour or their favourite food or their favourite cartoon character, etc.
i feel like i can't even decide on the simplest things like that.
:/ sigh fickle-minded me who changes her mind faster than anything else.

all in all, i guess i just wanted to express how easy it is for me to like something/someone, but it is so difficult for me to feel that i truly love something/someone and it actually depends on the memories that is associated with it.

typing this whole chunk which might not make any sense to you, i just wanna say:
hi my love,
happy 300th day <3
i guess you would understand what i am trying to say/express here.
i hope you do. :)

2011-12-04T01:35:00.001+08:00

im happy to be in a simpler place, if only there arent creepy ppl. T^T

so...

2011-11-30T02:08:00.000+08:00

HELLOOO!!
okay im not exactly feeling as cheerful as my greeting but doesnt matter.

anywayyyy!! im only happy nowadays cause i have been shopping like a crazy kid on tmall aka taobao and HOHOHO so happy to see my shopping delivered to me likka shiookkkk.
took photos of every single shopping i did and i will upload it (okay fine i need to put them in my comp first) when i feel like it kay. ^^

ANYWAY HINT HINT:
i think this will be a great xmas present!?!?!?

LOOK THAT ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE PUMPKIN CARRIAGE OMGGGG!!
and it's like on offer now!?!?!?
i give you link!! CLICK HERE!! YES THISSSS!!
and you can have my taobao acct id and pwd if you'd like.
then you can buy and obviously key in your own credit card number etc HOHO and rmb you can only buy on taobao using internet explorer!! ^^
and they will deliver the necklace straight to my apartment!! :D:D:D:D:D
and isn't this the most obvious hint everrr!?!? :D:D:D:D:D
i am just a great friend right!!! ^^^^^^^^ (<- my many eyes. yes im a many-eyed monster. okay lame.)

i am a simple person.
i love how i myself can be cheered up by the simplest thing, for eg FOOD or simply just people smiling at me.
but on the other hand, this means that i can be despaired by the most minute matter. this kinda sucks.
is having low EQ bad or good? :/

just now, when i was bathing, i wasn't thinking much.
but then i sdnly saw smthing flying around me and i almost freaked out when i realised it was a really small moth.
you know what people say, moths are the reincarnation of your loved ones aft they have passed away.
thoughts of spraying it with water using my shower head disappeared instantly.
one person came to my mind and i retarded-ly asked the moth, 'are you ahgong? did you come to see if i'm living well in china? or are you reincarnated as a china moth?'
sdnly, memories of ahgong flooded my mind.
i rmb how ahgong used to be half naked and walking around wearing his blue checkered boxers with the white strings hanging outside.
i rmb long ago when he still had his legs, when he dun even need his walking stick.
i rmb buying him sour plums, sugarfree sweets during his birthday/fathers' day.
i rmb him waving us into his room and he will take out his little box with all the changes inside and give us some of them.
and he would always give us the shiny ones and make sure that everyone has the same amount.
i rmb how he used to dote on ortao the most and how we felt jealous over it, but now i come to think of it, ahgong doted on the rest of us alot too.
i rmb how he would cook occasionally for all of us, and how we secretly thought that he cooked much better than ahma.
i rmb how he would joke that i would grow up to marry ortao and i would feel a little shy and yet look at ortao and think that i would absolutely not marry him. HAHA. i was too young to realise that we do have blood relations.
i rmb how we always had endless supply of soft drinks esp sarsi at ahma hse cause of him.
then, ahgong became older.
i rmb him laying more in bed.
i rmb him needing a walking stick.
i rmb running to him with his walking stick and then holding his soft and wrinkled arm to help him walk to the living room.
i rmb how he always scold ahma with his loud voice and yet we all know that he loves her.
i rmb when they said he had diabetes. i told myself i would never drink so much soft drinks ever again.
i rmb when he got a wound on his toe and it turned black. i rmb how he was alr in the wheelchair then.
i rmb how he refused to see the doctor, how two of his toes turned black. i rmb how eventually one of his legs got amputated, and then both.
i rmb how they bought the wheelchair originally for ahpong and no longer needed it anymore.
i rmb how i nv saw him cried till that day.
i rmb how he asked mummy to tabao my fave kou rou bao for me cause i missed going ahma hse that sunday and ahma made some.
i rmb how he smiled.
i rmb how he joked with us while we laughed at jiamin who had difficulties pronouncing f and s properly.
i rmb everything about him.
everything.
then i realised, i miss him so much.
so much so it hurts.
i cried so hard in the bathroom.
so much harder than im crying right now.
it hurts so much.
i never want to have anyone close to me leave me ever again.
however, i know it's impossible.
i will have to face it eventually, no matter how unwilling i am.
i talked to the moth.
i know im weird.
but i feel like it's my ahgong, i feel like im talking to him.
ahgong, i miss you so much.
dun feel afraid, i have never forgotten about you.
this is not the first time i cried for you, and it will definitely not be the last either.
i never told you this, but i love you, i truly do.

growing up =/= losing yourself

2011-11-26T01:30:00.000+08:00

突然有个领悟：

每个人都有自己的优缺点。
如果有人不喜欢你，那可能是因为对方无法包容你某些缺点。
这世上，谁没有问题呢？没有谁是完美的。
就算大多数的人不喜欢你的缺点，那又如何？
但若那些人对你来说很重要，改变一点又如何？或许你能够因此而找到真正的自己，更好的自己。
有些事不必想的那么极端，退一步真的能够海阔天空也说不定。
包容一点也很好啊，对不对？
人，难道就是那么自作孽吗？
凡事看开一点，想少一点，自然而然就会开朗多，快乐多。

people change, and i'm not spared as well.
i may have changed for the better or worse, depending on your point of view.
but i feel that i became better, and i'm glad about that.

sometimes, when people tell you that you've changed, it might not necessarily means that they don't know or don't understand you.
because most of the times, people outside of the situation sees everything in a clearer light, so they may actually know more than you thought so.
seeing from different people's perspectives gave me more understanding towards human nature and mankind.
to be honest, i felt really happy as to them trusting me enough to tell me about it.
yes i'm a silly kid, but i truly truly want everyone to be happy.
i tried to explain for them, but all is naught but i know at least i tried.
human beings are definitely complicated.
people who change, i am trying to adapt to the new you.
give me some time.
i cannot ensure that i will like you as much as before your change, but i will definitely still accept you as a friend.
tbh, i got really hurt, but i'm slowly putting it behind me.
let's just keep our fingers crossed and hope for the better from now on.

miss you hong bi zi xiao jieeeeee

2011-11-23T03:30:00.001+08:00

hiahia i miss you tooooo my dearrrr!! <3 cant wait to go back i will scream ADELINE TOH YING YING when i see you next HAHAHAHA

hello! what do you want to say?

2011-11-20T00:20:00.001+08:00

just wanna say,

i love my sucker tay and retarded toh. <3

sorry for no pics and if you are complaining go and die cause i have no time and my internet sucks too much for me to upload any pics okay. WANT PICS? wait until i get back to singapore kay HAHAHA.

hi babes and hunks HAHAHA

2011-11-12T01:37:00.000+08:00

once again, i am back.

i miss everyone in singapore but i am doing well here now.
i have great colleagues and we are rather close. (with the exception of some of course)
there are definitely bitches no matter which profession you are in and the bitch that i met here is not only a hypocrite, but also an arrogant and vain and slutty bitch.
contact me if you want to listen to interesting stories, cause i am sure i will be able to fill you in and entertain you with my apt and drama description HAHAHAHAHA.

tay ah tay. i hope you can come overrr! but if you do i kind of dun want you to come during the same time as my family. if not very sian one leh. :( though if you guys come separately i will most probably have to play the same things twice HAHA so aiya i dunoe what to do D: sian maxxxxx.
and tay ah tay!! buy more vitamin c to eat!! dun always catch a cold! :( take good care of yourself!!!!an

anywayy, went to this place called Holland Village on 111111 which is a little way off from here and it's a really pretty place. picturesque and poetic scenary. and in just a few hours there, we met three couples taking wedding photos there. O.O
but it's REALLY pretty and of course i took photos hiahiahia. shall post them up soon okay!! ^^ but you should know the internet connection here in shanghai.......
so you can slooooowwwwlyyyyyyyy wait for it kay. ^^

to be independent and strong, that's so scary.
scary in the sense that there is noone to help you, noone to support you, noone to depend on, and the loneliness which comes thereafter. :(
i am a coward who is so damn afraid of being alone. i am trying to get used to it.
to have noone to depend on is terrifying.
imagine you are fighting by yourself, with noone as your backup. T^T
i want to be an independent and strong woman, really.
but i definitely hope that it doesn't mean that there is no one there with you.
growing up is such a tough path.
but i will brave through it.
i do know who will support me.
but i just need you to remind me occasionally that you will be there for me.
i am a teeny insecure.
please forgive me for that.
being here made me realised a lot of things.
i will be a better person and i AM becoming a better person.
i will be brave and grow up and not keep thinking of becoming a child once again.
i will.

长长九九

2011-11-11T11:11:00.011+08:00

hi my dearest boy,

happy 9th! ^^
you know that recently i have been feeling rather down, and thank you for just being there to listen to me talk and cry and rant. you have always been the greatest support.
sdnly recalling how you would always try your best to help me in your own little ways.
like last sem when i rant to you about proj teammates, i never thought that you would text ade to ask her to tell the teachers cause you know i would never dare to do so. hahahaha.
you are always the best!! dun ever forget you are supposed to bring me go eat good food when i get back okay! :D:D:D:D
i miss you so much but i will stand up straight on my own here.
i will do my best and not let you down. :)
jiayou for your course okay! ^^

love,
me.

hypocrisy

2011-11-05T15:24:00.000+08:00

currently working in the chinese restaurant in our hotel.
and in our chinese restaurant, there are private rooms which can be booked by our customers.
one night, i was one of the waitresses in the private room.
and in that one night, my horizon widen so much.

in just one night, i see how hypocritical can mankind be.
the level of hypocrisy gave me shivers down my spine.
i see how much bootlicking people can do. and how fast their faces change.
it's so scary that i grew so afraid. so afraid that i will be the same as them.
i see how they call each other brothers, just so to pull strings and climb up the social ladder.
i see how they pour each other drinks, just to toast and act like they have been the best of friends since they were born.
the feelings that overwhelmed me as i watch how they snatch the wine bottles from me to "serve" those of higher authorities.
the amount of disgust that washed over me is as much as the vacuum which fills this universe - immense.
tay, nv forget that you are supposed to pull me back if i ever fall into the pits of such hypocrisy.

i hope i will never forget this:
i swear that i will never be a hypocrite and will stay true to myself for as long as i live.

i believe, life's greatest success is not how much money you earn or how much fame you gain, but how much you stay true to yourself till the end.

2011-10-21T20:52:00.000+08:00

One's life is like a piece of white and pure paper.
For every mistake one make, it's like a streak of black marker across the paper.
To cover it up, one has to do many more good deeds, which is in colourful streaks. As it is difficult to cover up a black streak drawn from a black marker.
Philosophical? Yes.
Acting like I am philosophical? Whatever, I no care what YOU think.
It's just some understanding I've got from shows that I've watched.
I really like shows which let me feel that I've learnt something about it. Such that I can re-watch it without feeling bored.

:/ Sometimes I really don't get it.
It's like, people know what is wrong. But nobody actually takes action to change it.
It's like a problem that has existed for very long. But nobody is actually willing to make the effort to change it.

As a management trainee, I am really sad to say, my capabilities and authority is somewhat limited.
You say, I should take charge and take the lead as I am training and learning how to manage a restaurant.
I say, do you really think if I said something, the staff will take me seriously?

To them, I am just a new staff, a young ~~girl~~ kid of only 19 years old.
With the way I talk, oh nonono. They simply think I am a cute little girl.

I try my best.
I try my best to tell them what I think is right.
But the way they joke around with me, I know they don't take me seriously.
And to be honest, I wonder who take me seriously.

I have suggestions to make. I have comments to give. But to them, I am still a new staff and therefore, I am not familiar enough to give suggestions and comments.
What I wish to say is, you are wrong.
In merely one month's time, or even lesser, I have found so many problems which should be dealt with seriously and properly.

I wish for a platform to voice out how I truly feel. I really feel like going straight to the Director and tell him. Tell him what's wrong. Tell him what should be corrected.
I know, our hotel places a lot of emphasis on the welfare of our employees. Regarding whether they are happy working in our hotel or not.
But sad to say, only the management level emphasizes this importance. Those who have positions closer to our employees don't.

Wrote a suggestion on a paper and passed it to Daniel. I wonder what he will think. :/
I hope he will pass it to Louisa HAHAHAHAHA.
I gave a suggestion of making a flipchart, a small one. Something like what Marche has. kekeke.
Cause I truly think that they should have one, with all the comments given to me by my colleagues. HAHAHA. and they think it's a great idea too.
it now boils down to whether the management thinks it's a good idea as well.

sigh wanted to like type proper english but found out that jiale suits her own style moreee. kekeke.
like that more comfortable for me. :')
there are many other problems which is not suitable to be voiced out here. But I will voice out to you, my friend. HAHAHAHA. you know i will. :')

anywayyy, there is this newcomer bitch who just started working in my restaurant. I think i can mention this. HAHAHAHA. unless she sees it and sues me for slander. but oh no she can't read english HAHAHA okay im a bitch but she's really a bitch okay.
with sucky attitude and im not the only one who feels that way.
you should really reflect on yourself okay. >:(
and stop por-ing me you have found the wrong target cause i will not be por-ed by you. >:(
you really think im a gullible little girl? think again, bitch.

i am back!

2011-10-21T12:18:00.000+08:00

and i'm still alive and kicking here in shanghai WAHAHAHAHA no worries~~

i know i should have blogged about my hangzhou trip since like noooooong noooooooong ago but aiya you know working people very busy one. even when got free time also feel like nua-ing around and watch some vids or smthing. HAHAHAHA.

anywayyy, i kind of love my job now. if i ever mentioned before what it is. heh.
i'm actually a management trainee and i will be going to all the f&b areas as an intern. and this is the privilege that only overseas interns (aka me and ahyi) have.
in addition, we learn alot more things as we are management trainees and we are currently being trained to manage people and a restaurant.
for the local interns, they can only stay in one f&b area and therefore, what they learn will be somehow limited.
for me, i am now in Windows Cafe, the western restaurant which is the main restaurant in the whole hotel. hiahia.
afterwhich i will be going to the chinese restaurant (New Tang Palace) > jap-kor restaurant (Red Hot) > banquet > room service > their bar (Plaza Bar)

sigh and my last day of work at Windows is on sunday and i will be starting work at a brand new environment on monday.
it kind of sucks in the way that once you got used to a place and how it operates, you have to leave. but i guess this is good as you can meet all kinds of people and learn alot more new things just that you will miss those times when you work with all the lovely people you once did.
i can say that the day i leave here, i will definitely be filled with all kinds of emotions. :')
but i will return one day to visit!!! if only.... the people in the hotel dun change. HAHA.

hi blog. i missed you.
there is so much i want to say.
and i dunoe where to start. :/
nvm.
i will be good. :)

anywayy, just wanna to take this chance to thank sebastian loo merlion mr liu yu wei for being the messenger between me and tay HAHAHAHA.
dun be a petty guy alr okay.
bffaeaeaeaeaeaeaeaaeae (best friend forever and ever and ever and ever... ...) HAHAHAHAHA.
creative horh me! :D:D:D:D

okay enough of this bullshit. i have finished doing paperwork for my manager before leaving windows :') and i shall now go watch my tvb show that i half watched at tay's before i came here and hoho goodbye!! dun miss me!! :D:D and ahyi!! :D:D

a picture of us :')

PROSPEROUS 8TH!!

2011-10-11T20:02:00.001+08:00

FA FA FA!! cause it's our 8th month HAHAHAHA.

hope your course which is starting tml really fa and become very prosperous and all your grades will be floating around the rainbows (flying colours) yes i know i very lame but hiahiahia you must be more confident of yourself and believe that you can do it!!!

dun give too much stress to yourself and if you feel like taking a break go buy starbucks and think of me hehehehehehe!!

rmb what i always told you. you cant think straight if you are too stressed so give yourself some time to relax okay. or you can try MYYYY stressfree method if you rmb HAHAHAHA.

good luck okay tay!!

18 and a half weeks till i get back! see you soon!! ^^

<3<3

call me laoshi!

2011-10-07T19:53:00.000+08:00

did anyone miss meeeeee?? :D:D i miss rice more HAHAHAHAHA.
okay i shall stop being lame HAHA.

btw i went to hangzhou and suzhou with ahyi last weekend HIAHIA and hangzhou was super fun but not suzhou. :(
cause we were left with only one day to tour there (which is supposedly enough >:( ) and we spent like 2hours plus on the public bus cause of the dreadful jam. :( got down to walk all the way to some garden cause it's very famous but aft standing for so long and walking for so long with the gravity pulling our heavy bags, we stared at the map of the big garden and decided not to enter HAHAHA.
so in the end we went to this restaurant called "grandma's" and it's damn nice okayyy! i think it's one of the most famous restaurant in china HAHAHA you must come here to eat okay!!
yea will blog more about our trip there soon cause i am still too lazy to put the photos into my comp. HEHHH!! soon kay soon!!!!

anywayy, let me explain my blog title. CALL ME LAOSHI cause i am gonna become a laoshi soon!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

due to some incidents in our hotel, my manager asked me if it's possible to do up some english training lesson and i agreed HAHAHA. she asked me to sought the help of ahyi so we can both teach them tgthr but ahyi has been working so i haven asked her but i alr agreed to help myself HAHAHA.
so i would be like teaching them the basic words and english's phrasing HAHA and si ahtay doubted my capability!!! >:( HAHAHAHA okay kidding but im quite excitedddd! HAHAHA.

and our manager quite nice leh she says she will make all the local interns attend since their hostel is very near the hotel too HAHA. smmore interns ma. should learn more things!!
BUT i have to do up a schedule and like the lesson plan. SAVE MEEEEEEEE!! T^T okay i will try my best. need to plan out what exactly i need to teach them. :(

and im working at the western restaurant now and aft that i will be moving to the chinese restaurant to teach and since the shift is split into two there with a break in between (11.30am - 2.30pm, 5.30pm - 10.30pm) she said i can still go down to teach them english during my break. OMGGGGXZXZXZXZ.
laoshi will be very busy okay!! ^^ but the lesson will probably be only 30-40mins hehe so i will still have a life somehow!! HAHAHAHA i thinkkkkkk!!

okay i shall start doing up my lesson schedule and plan aft i finish bathing and i still have my periodic report to do!! T^T
JIAYOU JIALE!!

sigh really miss my girls aft talking about our picnics with ahyi this morning. T^T
how i wish i can fly back immediately to have a picnic with them and do all the retarded things we do while dipping biscuits in the tuna cans and spreading all the tuna on our bread and fighting over that one spoon HAHAHA.
<3 my girls so much. :( recalling those times and us taking 'wedding photos' HAHA we are lovable cause of our retarded ways. <3 <3 I LOVE YOUUUU!

miss my ahtay too aft talking about all the simplest things that we will do when we see each other next.
it's not even like going out on a date or what. it's only the simplest things like hugging and smelling him HAHA. i DO like to smell people you all know one right! HAHAHA.

sigh. 19 more weeks now guys. :)
i know i will miss it here as well though. sighh. all my lovable colleagues who treat me ever so well. :) i will miss them dearly though we will have QQ (it's china's msn and i dun really sign in to that.. sadly.. but i should soon hahahahaha!) and they kept saying that if they go to singapore i must bring them around and that i must come back to china to visit them. :')
i guess within this six months i will be damn familiar with china alr. HAHAHA.
sigh. i love singapore and my peepos there and my colleagues <3

CROWNE PLAZA SHANGHAI PUDONG FOR THE WINNNN!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
(maybe if i miss here enough i will work in crowne plaza singapore HAHA!)

No particular reason... stalker <-> victim. Lol I NOE YOU MISS ME MOST! hehe take care kay <3

2011-10-05T17:47:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA okayyyyyy. YESSS MISS YOUUU!! you miss me too right!?!? hehehe. yes i will!! love youuu! <3 you can whatsapp meeee! HAHAHAHA

hello! what do you want to say?

HEY VICTIM! i see ur having fun!:D love, stalker no. 1

2011-10-05T15:11:00.001+08:00

O.O why victim? hahahahaha i forgot alr. yesssss but i kind of miss singaporeeeee!! 20more weeks till i return okay my loveeee!!

hello! what do you want to say?

THE swimming competition

2011-09-30T18:06:00.000+08:00

as a lot of you might know, ben xiao jie actually went to a swimming competition last thur 22sep and i got first in place HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

at first i thought it was a inter-departmental competition when i agreed to join but afterwards i found out it was a inter-hotel competition and the participating hotels are all under IHG (Intercontinental Hotel Group)!?!?!? T^T

my swimming skills are really not good and it's actually more of water games than a swimming competition? anyway there are two games and in each game there is like three prizes for the top three winners and i'm in the first game which goes like this:

In the first game, each team would need to send out two participants, one male and one female.

1. The female would have to go through the float (it's like really small -_- i could barely fit in and most people couldnt and they could only put in their head and one arm -_-) and the male would have to pull/push her across while swimming of course.

2. After reaching the other side, they would have to swop places.

So, as you can see, i DO play an important role okayyy!! though the guy would have to swim really fast too. T^T and i did my best okay. i swam the fastest i ever did in my entire life and i kicked like nobody's business okay. :( originally we were like the third or fourth then i told myself just concentrate on kicking and i kick my hardest until i lifted my head up and VOILA~ we are number one HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

when we reached i could barely hold on to the edge of the pool (ehh when my head is above the water and i raise my arms up straight the edge is like at my elbow area okay it's damn high up. D:)

and furthermore that side was 1.8m deep and i couldn't even stand on anything. T^T so my partner had to literally pull me out of the pool cause i was out of energy.

i had to sit at the edge for awhile before standing up. :( and when i did, i had instant muscle ache okay!! (proof that i really tried my best to kick hard!!)

anywayyyy, here are the pictures we took after the swimming competition and after the prize ceremonyyy!! we won ourselves an award certificate and two huge plush dolphins and a prize money of 1500RMB!!

so supposedly me and the guy gets a plush dolphin each as shown below and each team member got 300RMB!! (we only have 5 team members and the other two are our supporters!! ^^)

pardon my very chui face please we had to wake up at like 5 or 5.30am!?!?!? D: tired max okay! plus i kicked so hard for the first prize!!

hi this is nicole, my partner's gf so she got the dolphin HAHAHA.

lieke my holland roommate! ^^

our team HAHAHAHAHA. and i gave my plush dolphin to the uncle beside me cause he wants to give it to his kid. so sweet right!!! and also cause i dun wanna take it home because i alr have captain and how am i supposed to bring such a huge plushie back to singapore!?!? D:

tay scolded me though. said it could have been a companion to captain. tsktsk. and what stitch (ahyi's plushie) can't swim so the dolphin can swim with captain why you so lame!?!? D:

and btw yes the 1st and 2nd runner-up received smaller dolphins accordingly HAHAHAHAHA.

okay that's all!! i'm kind of lazy to blog nowadays as you can see HAHAHAHA. and i think i should start blogging about our trip to the oriental pearl tower??

okay fine i will. i shall upload the photos now and continue this post.

sighh i am such a sweet girl. :')

(okay i am this weird person who is typing on the computer screen and talking to herself. i can almost hear people say "glad that you know" D:)

on sat 24sep we went to downtown!!

had our usual breakfast (it was alr lunch i think HAHA) at windows!! the western restaurant that i'm working at :')

before we embarked on our journeyyyy~~

on the way to the subway station!!

TADA!

and we saw cheryl by the roadside. HI CHERYL!

our hotel which is the greyish one at the back! the tall one. with this red oval logo if you can see :D

ahyi who is taking vids HAHA i took some vids too but most vids are with ahyi. WAIT for us to upload kay. it might take a super long time HAHAHA.

the subway quite similar to our mrt ah.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

THIS SHOPPING MALL ROCKS OKAY THE SUPER BRAND MALL!!

GOT MY C&K, SEPHORA, WATSONS, ZARA, MUJI, and also many other brands that singapore dun have but it totally makes us feel like we are back in sg. :')

plus got cinema next time can go there watch movies HIAHIAHIA.

our ultimate destination of the day - the oriental pearl tower!

the dbs which reminds me of cheryl HAHA.

rabbit year HAHA.

THE SUPER LONG QUEUE D:

going up to the highest point O_O

many many flags but no sg flag. :(

nearest we can find HAHAHA.

you spot me? HAHAHA.

SOUTH KOREAAAAA. :')

YES THIS IS A GLASS FLOORING CLARA.

we only stood on the glass when we took photos HAHAHAHA yes we are cowards T^T

TADA on the glass now HAHA.

what a brave man T^T

made her do this and of course she made me do the same thing as well. T^T

except that i crawled back T^T damn scary clara you will die here HAHAHAHA.

GOT ARCADE SIA!

we caught this couple kissing at different points of the tower. and it's like that kind of DEEEEEP kiss where they closed their eyes and seem to be in their own world HAHAHAHAHA.

ROLLER COASTER RIDE which lasted really short but still quite fun HAHAHAHA.

and this is the neoprint we took in the arcade~~ HAHAHAHA.

okay yes thats about itttt~~

and we are going to hangzhou and suzhou tml!! tell you guys all about it when i get back kay! :D

Lele, you should be in China when you see this! Take care of yourself there and be healthy k? Hwaiting!!! <3

2011-09-30T12:52:00.001+08:00

OMGG i just saw this!! :') thanks von i love youuuu!! yes i will take good care of myselfff!! <3 many many!!

hello! what do you want to say?

my awesome boyfriend.

2011-09-28T10:49:00.002+08:00

i have no idea why i doubted and why i felt so insecure and worried that it's eating inside of me but hiahiahia you are so awesome and just one phone call last night (though i am the one who did the dialing) i felt so happy alr hiahia.
you affect me way too much HAHA but yayyy! it's great hearing your voice. :)

*edited*
ohhohh i wanna thank clara for always accompanying me when im alone at home no matter through msn or skype HEHE i lub you okay awww dun be so touched that you are tearing okay no i know you feel like hitting me but i am in shanghai HEHE neh nehni poo poo!
*edited*

i am not gonna blog properly now cause i'm probably gonna clean up the house for abit.
i am the main person for the cleaning up okay!! (hardworking me tsktsk ahyi HAHAHA)
okay nvm it's okay and erm i will blog properly probably tml or friday??

AND BTW AHYI AND I ARE GOING TO HANGZHOU AND SUZHOU FROM SAT MORNING TO MON NIGHT WOOOTS!
so we will be quite un-contactable unless you wanna like call our overseas number HAHAHAHA.
we will be back soon okay no worries!! :D:D
though we were kind of impulsive and went to bought the railway tickets without considering or researching on anything. HAHAHAHA. and we din even know which hotel to go to and quickly researched and booked one online HAHA.

will update more~~~~
soon okay! HAHAHAHA.

2011-09-27T23:21:00.000+08:00

you dunoe how grateful i am to have you. :)
you are the best thing i ever had WOOHOO! applause for yourself okay HAHAHAHA.

kthxbye.

torn up.

2011-09-27T13:51:00.001+08:00

i have no idea why but sdnly i just went back to look at you.
i kind of miss you.
and i DO wonder if you do too. :/

to another you, i understand that my behavior is indeed very inappropriate.
i'm being very much a loser and a coward.
so if one day you decide to leave, i would understand.
but i hope that you would leave without a word and slowly fade away.
so that i wouldn't notice and the pain would not hit me at one blow because i have no idea how to take it.
no matter what, i will always love you.

Oops

2011-09-26T12:00:00.000+08:00

HI everyone i know i said i would get a post up during the weekends but HEHE i was wayyyy too busy. but now i have about one and a half hour before i need to prepare for work~~
so, here goes~~

ignore my fat face i fail at camwhoring. D:

ON THE PLANE!!

okay touch down alr HAHAHA. in the car!!

look at the sign at how they split the lanes O.O

trying to show how spacious the car is HAHAHA.

our presents from our girls!!!

hi captain HAHA.

waiting at the lobby~~

i love this revolving door HAHA.

and they have fireworks on our first night!! O.O to surprise/welcome us? HAHAHA.

going to the supermarket on the second day and lunching at the kfc there.

we din know they wun provide us with a plastic bag and we had to buy one so below is how we actually carried them back home T^T

onomnomnom.

this is what they have which is the closest to chili sauce D:

BELOW IS OUR APARTMENT~~

the living room~

with a tv,

and a mircowave hiahia. though we dun actually use it HAHA.

here are the three rooms and the last being our room~

hi ahyi.

our beds. and you can see photos stuck on the back of my bed and on the wall beside it and it is like filled up now. din have the time to finish at that time hiahia.

hi my unpacked luggage HAHA. and here is the couch and table~

and tada the tv in our room~

and ahyi whom i made to unpack and tidy her things HAHA.

her corner~

my corner~ HAHA.

what we used to hang our undergarments HAHA but we alr bought a clothes rack kind of thing so we no longer use the hooks. shall take a photo of that another time~~

ahyi's wall of fame HAHA.

and here is mine~ and the stack of photos on my bedside table is all put up too keke.

oops blur but this is ahyi's bedside table with my alarm in between our beds to wake us up though we dun actually use it HAHA.

okay lazy to describe anymore keke. but our colleagues are really nice and they somewhat treat us more like guests and we are learning new things everydayyyy~~ ^^
all is well here except for certain things erh herm. okay shall let you know what soon.
you can view many more photos on fb okay! :D
byebye i will update MORE soon HAHA. ^^

hello it's sab here.

2011-09-22T22:22:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA sab is short for sabrina HAHAHA and ahyi is now nicole.

giving ourselves english names is much better than letting the hotel choose for us okayyy!!

wanted to go with jaelurp but obviously it's not a good name cause i don't think people can pronounce it properly HAHAHA.

and everyone guessed that i am nicole but sorry sad to say no i am not HAHA.

okay anywayyy, i will not talk about my being in shanghai yet. shall talk about what happened in my life JUST BEFORE i went to china okayyy!! ^^

anyywayyy, on wed 14sept it's dinner with my girls~

ayam penyet ONOMNOM. hehehe.

tay came to join us too yayyy! cause time together is really limited. :(

and i love the ayam penyet at lucky plaza HAHAHA you can go try it HOHO.

HERE IS THE PHOTO OF THE SIGNBOARD:

dun say jiale nv intro ah HAHAHAHA.

okay then on thur 15sep i went cooking with my dear xueli and ahyi HAHA.

cause xueli was having her off day and we just went over to her house to cook using her new pan/pot HAPPYCALL! if you dunoe what is happycall, switch on the tv on the weekdays before 3pm and you will see it being advertised on channel u HAHAHA.

okay anyway this is happycall:

and yes it's like a double sided pan so you can just flip it over and it will cook just the same.
HAHAHAHAHA

and HEY HO THE THREE TOP CHEF'S SUPERB MEAL RECOMMENDATION:

FIRST, The Sneezing Cow (Black Pepper Beef).
with its succulent meat taste which is enhanced with the specially concocted black pepper sauce, who could say no to this delicacy!?!?!? :')

NEXT, The Sambal Seafood Paradise.
neatly placed in an orderly manner, the squids and the prawns seem to be casting a spell on you as they wave you to them to put them in your mouth as you taste the spicy yet sweet sambal spread in your mouth followed by the freshness of our seafood, this is a dish you can't miss.

THEN, we have The Golden Mushroom In The Enchanted Forest.
Every bit of the golden mushroom is precious as you place them at the tip of your tongue and as you bite into them, OH THEIR SOFTNESS!! These veggies are so soft that even toothless elderly can enjoy them as they literally melts in your mouth. Savour them as they slide down your throat giving you the most wonderful sensation.

AFTER WHICH, we have Terror Yucky Chicken (Teriyaki Chicken).
as opposed to its terrifying name, Terror Yucky Chicken is definitely nowhere scary nor disgusting. In fact, it is the exact opposite. As your teeth tries to sink into the chicken, you can literally feel your mouth springing open involuntarily due to its chewiness. The teriyaki sauce used complement the chicken so well that you would have though the chicken drank teriyaki sauce like it's a teriyaki-cholic and bathed in teriyaki sauce its entire life. :') /sobs

LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT THE LEAST, Dear Salmon (Teriyaki Salmon).
I know you are wondering why it is called "Dear Salmon", and it is because when the salmon touches your tongue, an electric shock would go pass you as you become amazed at this smooth and soft tender salmon and wonder why you did not meet it earlier. D: if only, dear salmon, if only you knew....

AND TGTHR!!!! YOU WILL HAVE THIS WONDERFUL MEAL :D

*fine print* okay fine the black pepper was abit too hot as well as the sambal and the veggie was like limpy and (inserts more bad points) but i really think it's a good meal and i love it HAHAHAHAHA. *fine print*

and a round of applause for you if you actually read the whole of my retarded description for the food HAHAHA!!
BUT I EXPECT YOU TO READ EVERY SINGLE WORD CAUSE I THOUGHT SO HARD >:(
so scroll back up to read them if you haven done so.

on Sat 17sep i met these two kids for breakfast!! hehe.

fengfeng and leonnn!! it was their farewell breakf for me hehe LOVELOVE!

and fengfeng says i am skinnier yayyyy!! skinnier me is a happier me. ^^

went over to tay's afterwards and his mum gave me an angbao of S$100 O.O totally surprised. feel so touched. :') xie xie auntieeee! (okay i alr thanked her in real life)

and then out of nowhere, camwhore tay's illness reacted!!

so lee decided to give her usual weird expressions she loves.

pissy missy.

^ look at his arm, he is obviously holding the camera.
if it's not obvious to you, probably his arms are like very long and he din have to stretch out much.
tsktsk camwhore tay.

awww unhappy at tay for ignoring me for his dota. >:( luckily i got mummy tay to watch tv with >:(

afterwards we went to peihan's birthday party and it was the first time i saw someone so drunk O.O kind of scary D:
drank quite abit too cause there were no other drinks except for alcohols and i was really thirsty D: so i drank like super diluted choya. and it was like diluted cause i kept stirring for the ice to melt. T^T
thanks tay for cabbing us home hehehehe you are the best!! <3 despite all the unhappiness above HAHAHA.

went to eat subway with tay and qiqi on my last day 19sep cause it's also the last day for the coupons for cheaper subway meals HAHAHAHAHA!
onomnom nice nice :D
and thanks baby for staying with me on my last night even though i know it's hard for you to squeeze on my small bed with me and sorry for crying and i know you were worried though you din say anything at that point in time. T^T thank you for you hiahia. <3

okayyy i know i should get a post on shanghai here but soon okayy!! will get a post up during this weekend?? cause i have weekends off. probably tml since i end work at 3.30pm. ^^ see you sooooooooooon! <3

SHINEE WORLD SINGAPORE CONCERT 2011

2011-09-22T20:38:00.000+08:00

OMFG OMFG OMFG this is it. I WENT TO THE CONCERT ON SAT OMFG OKAY.

was totally pissed out by two bitches during the queue but okay was utterly excited and crazy when the concert started.
you can ask clara how much i screamed and jumped and squealed and how i kept shouting their names and practically screaming their song lyrics HAHAHAHAAHAHA.

we kept running back and forth as they moved from the main stage to the extended stage and back again and also chasing key (cause of clara) and my dearest jjong and also we ran for onew and minho too okay. tae why you no come to our side more?????? :( and jjong came like a few times only. :( center person sighhhh. though my eyes kept fluttering to him even though the other members were right before me HAHAHAHA.

okay first person i saw up close was key.
OMFG OKAY. key was like the perfect vampire with his red lips and smooth white skin okay. if he bit me and i died instead of turning a vampire it's also worth it HAHAHAHAHAHA (i can hear clara screaming "FUCK OFF FROM KEY" now but i no care HAHAHAHAHA)
was like staring at him intensely nonstop omfg i couldn't even hear what they were singing anymore HAHAHAHAHAHA.

btw this fan acct is just gonna be damn messy cause i cant rmb the sequence i just gonna spam whatever i rmb.

okay next person should be minho. MINHO IS ALWAYS AT OUR SIDE UNTIL I'M SICK OF HIM AND I WENT TO RUN AFTER THE OTHER MEMBERS HAHAHAHA.
but okay minho's side profile is so bloody perfect so perfect that i have to use the word 'bloody' to be able to describe him. and his tanned skin OMGGGG. plus his long legs with those tight pants. HAHAHAH.
at the start his hip thrust and body wave OMGGGGGGGGGGGG. but thats nothing as compared to what i'm gonna talk about below.
during his solo when he took off that goddamn button OMG I JUST WENT CRAZY LITERALLY. clara owyong did too okay so i'm perfectly normal at that point of time.
THE WHOLE INDOOR STADIUM WENT CRAZY IN FACT. i could see his abs and manboobs and omg esp when he did that body wave and the jacket slid down from both side of his body showing his gorgeous body omg if you din go for that concert you are just gonna regret for the rest of your life okay.

OHH and key was so super cold towards us fans cause he kept acting cool but he became super cute at the end when everyone celebrated his birthday esp when he laughed at jjong wearing a pair of retarded specs omg super cute okay i am dying T^T
and the perfect minkey and jongkey moment at that instant. OMGGGG.

ohhhhh and when they were singing this song i can't rmb at the moment sitting down on the steps there is this super cute jongho moment OMGGG but why din they kiss why din they!?!?!? :(:( i wanna see jongho kissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. :(

OHH THEN THERE WAS LUCIFER where they played with the lazer thingy HAHAHAHA minho and onew and jonghyun pointed their lazers AT ME OKAY AT ME.
okay i know im being delusional cause they pointed their lazers almost everywhere but at that instant i was thinking "please point at me my life will be completed" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

OMG AND THE backdrops of the concert i really love their backdrops esp for Hello cause of the shadows and it's cute how jjong is always sitting while the rest are dancing HAHAHAHA his slackest performance HAHAHA i think it's cause when they shot the vid of the shadows jjong's ankle haven recover fully yet?
either that or they just wanna imitate and relieve the times when they were having their Hello comebacks HAHAHA.

OHH AND ONEW SANGTAE OMG SO CUTEEEEE PLEASE HAHAHAHAHAHA. like when he put the blue bag which they use to put the balls that they throw to their fans on his head like a hat HAHAHAHA.
and taemin's butt omgggggggggggggggggggggggg i just wanna squeeze it it looks bouncy and everything HAHAHAHAHA and his perfect S-line figure omg you will just want to dig a hole and hide okay HAHAHAHAHA.

okayyy anyway this has been in my draft for quite some time and i just want to get rid of it so here you are. okay now i will go back to type my another post which has been in my drafts for a few days~

2011-09-19T00:57:00.000+08:00

HI so this is gonna be a quick post cause i just want to get a post up before i fly off to china.
HEHE.
and i really need to be in bed now HAHAHA.

okay this mixture of anticipation and fear i can't seem to explain but okay i would probably burst out into tears tml morning as i wave goodbye to my friends and family. :( :(
sad to say, qiqi wun be sending me off oh nonono :(

tay's sleeping at my house right now and yes he is asleep that pig and thank you so much for coming over and staying on my last night in singapore for like six months and helping me to pack my luggage kekeke.
and of course your surprise sharetea WAHAHAHAHAHA.
/foreverencouragingeveryonetodrinksharetea
SHARE TEA IS THE BEST BUBBLETEA (in my eyes cause it's the nearest 'popular' bubble tea which means sweet talk and each a cup is not counted) IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLDDDD~
everyone should try it :D
it's really nice okay.
drink their milk tea with pudding HAHAHA.
if it's not nice, it's cause it's not from the northpoint branch. or the person making the drinks has sucky skills.

okay i will be back to blog tml night if the internet there doesn't suck okay.
just wanna say i love you to all my girls and friends and lovelies. <3
i love you all just so much that i have no time to write anymore. T^T
great farewell dinner with my girls on friday, great farewell breakf with my beloved fengfeng and leon ytd morning and erm cant rmb much cause i'm kinda sleepy but i will rmb all our 'last' dates and i will be back soon for many more dates okay! <3
love you all wayyyy too much. MUAKS MUAKS!

(hope the internet doesn't suck and i can still blog properly as usual kekeke.)

OKAY TIME FOR BED BYE SINGAPORE BYE BED BYE BOLSTER BYE PEOPLE WAIT FOR ME TO RETURN!!!!!!!!

2011-09-16T00:22:00.000+08:00

omg sdnly feeling so afraid.
if it really happens, i really don't want to live anymore.
how could i how do i continue living if it really happens?
omggg fuck this shit how do i manage to get myself into such trouble?
why can't i protect myself properly?
why am i so useless?
why do i only learn now?
or did i even learn from my lesson?
omfg i can't take this shit now no not when i'm still so young.
N O.

personality test

2011-09-14T11:45:00.000+08:00

saw this on cheryl's blog heh heh so i went to did it too despite doing it before.

RESULTS:

Your view on yourself:Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

i think i was being much more truthful this time round and chose the options which i really imagined instead of those that i was think it was the nicest/prettiest.
and of course, the results were much truer. :)
here is the link to the personality test.

Lucky 7th Month (L)

2011-09-12T00:59:00.000+08:00

332, i'm so touched by your msg and i'm really glad that you thought that way.

i understood from your perspectives and point of view but to have you to say it in another way such that you are understanding me and giving in to my bad day is so sweet.

Happy Lucky 7th Month my dear though i am kind of a 53mins late but i msged you okay.

love you very much (L)

jiayou studyingggg!! see you soon! ^^

random pic below HAHA okay bye

NEW BLOG TITLE~

2011-09-12T00:51:00.000+08:00

In your life, only keep people who can make you BOTH a better AND happier person. ^^
they are those that matters to you and yet can influence your life and make your future brighter. :)

people who only make you a better person are basically just your enemies and haters and critics and okay basically people you dislike/hate.
they give you criticism and remarks which make you wanna prove to them that "heyyy i am better than youu loserrr"
and since they are people you absolutely loathe, there is no point keeping them in your life.
so if they criticise you, smile and take a sweet revenge by making yourself better and ask them to fuck off and tada you move on with your life.
dun try too hard to keep them cause some people just like to make fun of others and they wun bother staying in your life if they make fun of you too much and brought you much unhappiness.

people who only make you a happier person but not make you a better person are basically just friends who you can make merry with.
they are cheery to be with but not reliable.
when you need advices and opinions and need a back up, they would certainly not be there. they probably don't treat you like a real friend even.

okay so all in all, as the quote jiale quoted says, you should know who are the real important ones. :)

no matter how loser i am

2011-09-09T16:23:00.000+08:00

i still have my girls with me. :')
esp clara ahyi and jomaine. (L)

the three who encouraged me despite me being so loser-ish and reminded me that they understand how i feel and how much they love me. :')
i love you so much. <3

the rest of my girls i still love you okay. :)
dun forget.

tay's busy week just ended and he is coming over later though we originally planned to have dinner over at manhatten fish market cause of my sucky appetite and that my stomach and throat aren't feeling that well now. :(
hope he comes soon.

so insecure so afraid.

2011-09-09T00:26:00.000+08:00

i went to stalk ... yea i went to stalk.
i'm a really good stalker? in some way. hahaha.
probably found out things that i ought not which is slowly tearing me into pieces now.

i'm so afraid. so afraid that history will repeat itself.
i hate being lied to, and i hate that people hid things from me, and i almost never forgive.
even if it seems like i have forgiven, there is still this bit in me which i will never let go, and constantly be reminded of it, and will never be able to trust again.

i hope that you will tell me the truth. i hope that you will prove me wrong and so i will be able to apologise to you and ask for your forgiveness, for you are more magnanimous than me.
i admit my pettiness. i admit my intolerance.
for now, i'm just gonna close my eyes and wait for time to pass.

feeling so sick

2011-09-08T21:10:00.001+08:00

And it's been long since i felt like that. I din even fall sick during the stressful proj period. -_-
Have no idea whats wrong with me.

I know you are super busy these few days so i din bother you much.
Even during times like now when i wanna whine and wail to you abt all these aches and nauseous and uncomfortable feelings i have now. :(

Please let me get well asap. I wanna go for swc happily. Pleaseee.
Cant even talk or move much now. :( can only type on my phone. Sighh.
Please pray for me. Thanks.

2011-09-07T18:05:00.002+08:00

coming across things which make me feel really afraid.
i said this a million times but love, dun leave me before i leave you. dun ever forget.

feeling so alone.

2011-09-07T15:39:00.001+08:00

but perhaps tay is right.

i'm sorry clara and ade but going lunch with them made me feel more isolated. HAHA.
i can no longer comprehend what is happening in their lives.
it's like the paths of our lives are separating, for real.
confided in tay and that asshole >:( made me felt worse. but in the end i guess i can understand what you are trying to say eventually. and thanks bb for trying to comfort me aft i complained though you dun have a clue how to.

it's a fact. a certain fact that one day our lives might no longer cross. no matter how tightly intertwined they are, there comes a day when all contact is lost.
there will come a day, when my life would be revolving around my husband, my kids, my family and my career if i have any.
i would probably end up friendless like my mum? :/ though i really dun want that to happen. :(
i guess for now, i can only let nature takes its course and see what kind of choices life offer me in the future and how i can overcome them and what paths and obstacles in life would i face.
hugging captain really makes me feel calmer. :)
it's like someone there for me though it's yea just a soft toy.
but probably better than now when all my sisters are in school and my mum's out and my dad's sleeping and i'm kind of all alone in this house. :/ captain is my only solace and at least i have him with me.

we ARE going to drift. i know that. i can only cross my fingers and hope for the best.
sigh.
okay going back to watch my shows since i have nothing else better to do.
bye.

everyone's internship started..

2011-09-05T22:43:00.001+08:00

TODAY TODAY TODAYYY!

except for me and ahyi. :(

i feel left out. super left out. the feeling of left-out-ness, you will never know. :'(

so left out to the point that i feel like crying. it's like being abandoned. it's like everyone is busy and TOO bad they have no time for you. :(

i'd rather work. start work with everyone. keep myself busy. you will not get how i really feel. unless you are ahyi HAHA.

okay enough about moping around :( gonna spam some pictures! :)

it's prawning day on 01sep keke with my pri sch friends myrna, jervis and shaun!

HEHE pictures timeeee~

the three prawnermen. na's face got cut off D: lousy photographer (shaun)!!

our gorgeous backviews HAHAHA.

MAH FIRST PRAWN which is also the first catch of the day :D

unhooking it gently ^^

ugly face cause the prawn twitched? HAHA.

shaun and his pregnant prawn~~

na and her first catch!

happy us :D

loner kia who ran off to the other side of the pool for a ~~higher~~ chance of catching a prawn~

WAHAHAHA my turn to rest~

FINALLY JER CAUGHT HIS FIRST PRAWN!! HAHAHA!

hi pond why you so many prawns but no let us catch!? :'(

we only caught 8 prawns in the end. T^T aft THREE hours of prawning. D: #fail

charcoal burn burn burn~

i caught the biggest one :D

start fireeeeeee!!

HI WE ARE THE FANTASTIC FOUR HAHAHA.

shopping trip with ahyi on 02sep KEKE.

sat down at popeyes' cause ahyi wanna have some mashed potato and i tried out the diff modes my camera has hehe.

you don't wanna mess with her HAHAHA.

then at night i went to lower seletar reservoir with tay and mum~

EHH CHIOBU LEHHH!! HEHE!

not chio enough? siam okay HAHAHA.

HI TO THE FISH-EYE PICTURES OF THE DAY HAHAHAHAHAHA.

btw on 03sep, it was a SMURFING GOOD DAY~

guess you know why i said that..

YEA YOU ARE RIGHTTT!! i went to watch SMURF HEHE.

ohh and minitoons had this closed door sales for members only and somehow noone is guarding so me and tay just got into the shop HAHAHA.

and i straight away chiong-ed to my penguin HEHE. and to be on the cautious side, tay asked a member to help us buy this penguin below hiahia.

IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

it's so cute HEHE we named it captain like the one in mr popper's penguins *-*

practically hugging it everyday and even qiqi is squeezing it :( poor captain.

okay yayy dear tay here is your pic of captain and captain singapore HAHA. sorry my dear for not realising the amount of time you spend on me instead of your studies. :( jiayou okay! i support you <3 GOGO!

KEKEKE

2011-09-04T01:42:00.000+08:00

there are a lot of things to blog about and a number of pics in my camera and some events which i don't have any pics of but yet i wanna blog about.

okay i will blog soon alright. erm like on monday when everyone is working for their internship and me (plus ahyi) will still be nua-ing at home. :(

BTW PLAY SIMS SOCIAL ON FB AND ADD ME PLEASE AND ACCEPT ALL MY REQUESTS PLEASE (L) YOU MANY MANY :D:D:D:D:D

okay gotta sleep soon. TML RUNNING WITH TAY OMG hope i dun die trying to catch up with his great strides with his long legs T^T good luck to meeeeeeeeeee~

http://www.singaporetempjob.com/ HERE GO FIND A SUPER SHORT PART-TIME AND EARN MOOOLAHHHH

2011-09-02T01:49:00.001+08:00

you help me pass time? :D:D okay i go see see hoho

hello! what do you want to say?

kind of aimless now

2011-09-01T03:42:00.000+08:00

it's getting late and i should really sleep but i keep thinking. :/

everyone's starting their internship now and here i am, just waiting for time to pass and wasting my life while waiting for the docs to arrive just so i can apply for visa and fly to china.

to be honest, i kind of regret going for overseas internship fml.

all this shits that we have to go through oh fuck why din anyone tell us about that?

as usual, they only focused on the good parts yeayea.

if not i would be starting work like next monday lahhhhhhh!! instead of wasting time like now WALAOOOOOO i really want to start internship ASAP oh fuck i feel like i'm wasting time, wasting my life doing absolutely nothing oh fuck my life why is my life like this now.

i really DO feel aimless ohmygodddddd. :(

i should get a job? BUT WHO WANNA HIRE A GIRL WHO IS LIKE STARTING HER INTERNSHIP IN LIKE THREE MORE WEEKS!?

but that means i have three weeks to waste WALAO super sian damn sian what to i do in these three weeks!?

the more i type here the more sian i feel.

everyone has smthing to do smthing to look forward to.

and i'm just nua-ing here. and nua-ing, and nua-ing. and more nonstop nua-ing. SIAN JI PUA I NEED TO FILL UP MY LIFE WITH MORE ACTIVITIES D: MORE AND MORE AND MORE ACTIVITIES!

but the more i go out = the more i spend money and fuck my money flowing out of my wallet faster than the rain falling from the sky okay. :(

okay one good thing that happened out of these is that WOOHOO ME AND CLARA GOT THE TIX TO SHINEE WORLD CONCERT OMFG IM GONNA SEE MY DEAR JONG AND KEY AND ONEW AND MINHO AND TAEMIN *-* OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

okay once i think of seeing them in real life i get REALLY excited.

but on another hand i really regret going overseas internship at this point in time. D: i just hope that i really get good exposure and experience there like seriously. :(

should i have stayed in singapore and go to SES instead where i will be doing events which i will like better? D: okay i really have no idea. okay there is nothing i can do now except to waste my life and time. :(

okay thanks and bye.

to reiterate my point, I REALLY WANNA START MY INTERNSHIP NEXT MON LAH WALAO WHY AM I NOT FLYING TO SHANGHAI TML!?!?!?!?!?!

who esle would call you and i.d.i.o.t ... u look happy idiot.

2011-09-01T01:57:00.001+08:00

HAHAHA i just wanted to make sure what idiot. and i am happy what!! not good meh!?!? :D:D and you better be happy too kay!!! ^^ you can do it!

hello! what do you want to say?

Happy 200th Day my love (L)

2011-08-29T02:08:00.000+08:00

spent like one hour plusplus doing up this collage okay you better appreciate your great gf. >:)

thank you for all the wonderful moments and of course retarded ones HEHE which i love so much.
200days have since passed since (look at the cake picture) and it doesn't feel so long and yet it feels so long. kekeke.
they always say that guys don't like to listen to their gfs talking about ex-es and other guys? and i always do but you always take it in your stride. OR DO YOU PRETEND TO DO SO!? but yea i know you are the most generous guy okayyyyyy! ^^ HEHE.
and don't act like you don't care. i merely tested with 'HOW CAN YOU FORGET!?' and you immediately respond with 'I DIN OKAY I RECORDED IT IN MY PHONE!!' while frantically searching for your phone HEHE so cute and HOHO i exposed you.
i love exposing you though you hate it but you should really appreciate it okay! it means i understand you horh! :D :D :D :D
you better not find some other girl while i'm away in shanghai or else, be prepared for you-know-what. and take good care of yourself i cannot stress this enough cause you know how easily i get worried okay! :)
you know i love you my dear (L) muaks okay see youuuu~

2011-08-29T00:16:00.000+08:00

saw something like this on tumblr:
"I don't feel like a child back then. I don't feel like an adult now."
it's simply because, you will forever feel like you yourself.

sang a lot of songs today which i have yet touched for a long time, even for years.
many past memories went past my mind, resulting in my extreme mood swings.
sorry baby and thank you for your great patience and tolerance.
very often, i try my best to block out those hurtful memories, which i only now then realise that it is very unhealthy.
instead of leaving my wounds to heal, i covered it up with a cloth which is not disinfected and hoping that no one will see it. and soon, i forgot about those covered wounds.
but little did i know, they were affecting me as i din not let them heal properly and scar and fade off.
my life was greatly impacted by them as they hurt occasionally, causing me to feel afraid and insecure and distrustful.
i know now, that it is time to face them properly, which is the only medicine which can cure these infected wounds.
i will mature and be stronger. i will no longer leave the past me to wallow in the past. i need to grab the past me and with the current me, we will look at my blissful present and bright future together.
GOGOGO!

MANY EVENTS ONGOING -

2011-08-26T00:37:00.001+08:00

i'm just gonna post according to my pictures kay. hehe.

and it's a total picture spamming post HAHA.

First up, RMTR presentation on 10aug.

simply love my hair in this photo.

shelyce, yaoxin, dap and tingting's group gave out cookies and me, ade and mel got cute notes and this is mine AWWW SO SCHWEET :')

this is ade's. and yes she is a glutton HAHA.

we had the same pimple HAHA.

ade's HUGE bag.

Next, cycling at ecp on 13aug.

so afraid that it will rain D: but luckily it didn't WEEEEEE~

happy kids.

CYCLING STARTS!

rested in between cycling and we played monopoly deal HAHAHAHA.

tried to cycle at the front but perhaps it's cause of the 100plus in the basket which made me unable to take the weight of the bike. T^T so we almost fell 17837675247812463874612times and eventually i gave up. T^T

cycled to the BEEEEEYOUUUUTEEEEEFULLLL place.

then there is this place with all these recycled products so i guess it is some project they did to celebrate national day? hehh.

WENT TO EAT AFTERTHAT ONOMNOM.

at the restaurant~

HI BIG MOUTH HAPPY ME :D and their food is SUPER!!! LOVE IT!! <3

the shop's name is smthing like hongkong fast food HAHA.

then we went to the shop opposite to have dessert KEKE taiwan's ice desserts~

AND THIS IS DURIAN ONOMNOM.

took this photo so that you can see the korean bbq thing behind!? everyone around us was eating korean bbq as we munched on the durian ice HAHA.

retarded maxxxxx.

cute maxxxxxxx. HAHAHAHAHA.

went to pool afterthat~

NUMBER 11!

my mum said he looks like an old man HAHAHA.

yo pro!

okay no in this photo i just missed a shot HAHA. i suck at pool.

it was a super relaxing and fulfilling day for me that day. really enjoyed myself ttm. :') thanks my dear. (L)

Then, went out with his friends during his nights out on 16aug.

KEKEKE tay and cute arvin. WAHAHAHAHA.

kept kidding the whole night that we wanna intro him to my friends as his gf HAHAHA. but i think that if they got together they will be really compatible but this depends on fate hehh.

On 18aug, it's yingjie's birthday celebration!

MINE!

GUOWEI'S!

YINGJIE'S!

JAMES'!

started eating and din took photos of ahbe's and josh's hehh.

yingjie's iphone kawaiiiiii cover~

CAKE CAKE!

BIRTHDAY BOY~

GROUP PHOTO~

Lastly, on 19aug was a movie date with tay.

watched Overheard 2 which is:

louis koo forever shuai. <3

daniel wu also quite shuai HEHE.

i really like the plot and all the action scenes. WAHAHAHA this is a good show! can go watch!

and before the show, we had some desserts and retarded things happened. OHH and of course we played our monopoly deal~

monopoly kia.

these lights seems really familiar. jack's place? swensens? or does many restaurants uses this kind of lights? HAHA.

then he started to ask me do weird poses which he claims to be compatible with the light above my head in the picture belowww.

AND THEN:

HE MADE ME DO THIS AND OF COURSE HE HAD TO TOO. okay we are so retarded.

On 24th aug, we celebrated hyrah's birthday which falls on 23rd.

okay pictures not with me D: so i dun have any pictures to post.

and 24th is also the last day of our papers WOOHOO!!!

anywayyy, we had pizza hut for lunch as hyrah went home supposedly to grab her mani kit and she ended up napping HAHA and we just went to northpoint to buy a cake and HEHE went to my house to keep it. movies movies time~

watched FD5 omggggg screaming all the way it's just soooooo horrifying and thrilling all at the same time. D':

then we watched another movie which i dun even know the name and hyrah finally came too keke. mani session therefore starts together with movie marathonnnn!

after that we secretly went to bring out the cake for the surpriseeeeeee! WAHAHAHAHAHA! hope you are happy HEHE love you bb!

went off to meet tay in lot1 afterwards as the rest of them dined at causeway. T^T sorry bbs. i was afraid that he will get confined and it will be the last time i see him.

and now, not only he is not and my departure date to china is no longer on next thur. it will be tentative on 12sept that week. -_- retarded maxxxxxx. tay even took leave for me D:

but one good thing about this is that I GET TO GO FOR SHINEE CONCERT OMFGGGGG!!

i will be singing and dancing with MY SHINEE BOYS OMG CLARA DO YOU WANNA BRING WATERGUNS THERE SO WHEN THEY HAVE THEIR WATER FIGHT WE CAN PLAY WITH THEM!?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

okay excited much but stilllllllll we have to look for great deals and for people to sell the tix. T^T good luck to us. D:

KEKE

2011-08-25T21:06:00.000+08:00

i am back again but not to blog HAHA i am back to just talk about the true facts about me that i found out through weibo again! HEHE.

FIRST ONE:
白羊座喜欢单曲循环，他们喜欢的歌有些都很伤感，因为歌词里写出了他们的心声。白羊座说话常常不经大脑思考，什么话都说，所以让很多人讨厌，他们都不了解那是白羊的天真。白羊的反应会比较迟钝，因为他们很傻很天真。
TRANSLATION:
Aries like to repeat a single song, and the songs they like are usually very emo as the lyrics states what they feel. Aries usually talk without thinking through and comment on everything, which resulted in many people hating them, but they don't understand that it is cause of their naivety. Aries' reactions are slower than usual too as they are silly and naive.

SECOND ONE:
白羊座并不是花心，只是太容易对一个玩得好的异性产生好感，如果他对你好，你会误以为他对你有感觉，其实最后发现，一切只是自己的自作多情。通常白羊们爱到受伤了，会把眼泪撒在心里，微笑挂在脸上，不给别人看到自己的懦弱，如果你看到白羊在哭泣，那时候，她被伤得很深。
TRANSLATION:
Aries are not unfaithful, but it's just too easy for them to develop favourable feelings towards the opposite gender. If someone is good to you, you will mistake it as he/she has feelings for you, but would find out in the end that it is just an one-sided affair. Usually when Aries get hurt cause of love, they would hang a smile on their faces and cry in their hearts, unwilling to show their vulnerability to others. So if you see Aries crying, they are really very hurt.

THIRD ONE AND THE ONE WHICH IS SUPER TRUE FOR ME:
白羊座常常口是心非，想拒绝却开不了口，朋友挺多，但真正懂她的不多；白羊不喜欢欠别人，即使欠了，或许在别人不知的情况下就慢慢还清了；白羊也不喜欢别人欠她，这是一种平衡；白羊不喜欢主动联系别人，但绝不是不在乎，白羊可以安静，也可以疯癫，不要觉得她没心没肺，她只是对很多事看得很开。
TRANSLATION:
Aries often don't say what they mean, they want to reject but couldn't do so. They have quite a lot of friends, but few truly know and understand them. Aries don't like to owe others, and even if they do, they will return it slowly without their knowledge. As a balance, Aries dislike others to owe them as well. Aries dislike initiating convers and contacting others, but it is definitely not because they do not care, Aries can be either crazy/hyper or quiet/unbothered, so don't think that they are heartless, as they are just very philosophical about many things.

kekeke okay i'm going to sort out my pictures now and blog about my colourful life the past few weeks okay! HEHEHE.

i.d.i.o.t

2011-08-25T11:26:00.001+08:00

who is this idiot who called me idiot!? >:(

hello! what do you want to say?

2011-08-22T11:51:00.000+08:00

有时候只是希望他人可以更了解我所以才会迫切地解释着自己所做的举动背后的动机，
但是最后往往却被当成是要狡辩不认错。
这种不想被误会成有心机的心理，你了解吗？

我希望你能够了解。

2011-08-21T20:36:00.002+08:00

there are still times when i feel unsure, uncertain, insecure.
but when i see your face smiling back at me, i know it will all turn out well.
i love you so much. <3

si LAO JIE

2011-08-21T01:55:00.003+08:00

AHYI SO CUTE AH. ^^

hello! what do you want to say?

HI TAKEN AFT OUR LAST PRESENTATION HAHA

2011-08-20T23:14:00.001+08:00

2011-08-20T20:49:00.001+08:00

just realised i haven even blog about rmtr presentation. D:
soon soon kay. :( no time yet. D:
will blog EVERYTHING out on wed aft my last paper kay.
love you love me.

why must caps my name? me and SHUANGYU. why cannot me and shuangyu

2011-08-20T15:32:00.003+08:00

because for once i never put AHYI ma. then i put SHUANGYU so must caps to show you WAHH i put your REAL name for once HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

hello! what do you want to say?

HAHAHAHHAHAHA YOU WISH. (BUSINESS CLASS) AHHAHAHAHAH

2011-08-20T15:32:00.001+08:00

SHUDDUP WHY CANNOT!?!?!?!?!? >:( you are just jealous WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

hello! what do you want to say?

2011-08-18T16:28:00.000+08:00

i meant to blog something proper like on tue. proper as in the EXCITEMENTS in my life though i have to study HEH.
but HEHE laziness got in the wayyyy~

finished memorizing stmo shits alr WOOHOO!
need to go refresh my memories later though. to make sure that they stayed inside. i know most stayed. but some tend to escape out of my brains when im not noticing. so need to catch them back again. ^^ HEHE.

tonight going to go celebrate limyingjie's birthday~~~~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIM YING JIE KEKEKE YOU ARE FINALLY 19 WHY SO SLOW!?!? HEHE.

have to leave early later to revise somemore for tml's morning paper. T^T NEED TO REFRESH D:

OHH BTW!! me and ahyi alr booked our air tickets to china alr. T^T it's set on 02sept 0055 which means yea it's thur night. :(
in two weeks' time, i will no longer sleep in my bed for like SIX MONTHS. T^T alr missing my bed. SIGH. wonder how i will feel living in a whole new place in a whole new country. KEKE.
ben xiao jie never go china before OKAYYYY!

if you wanna send me off, drop me a sms. reasons why i din like announce somewhere so people can send me off is just cause i dun want too many people. D: later i cry like siao then diu lian only. me and ahyi aiming to ask for upgrades to business class one okay! HAHAHAHAH! ^^

i'm a lucky kid

2011-08-15T09:22:00.000+08:00

like really lucky. HAHAHA.
although my life hasn't been exactly smooth sailing throughout, i've always had people around me. okay at least one person around me at any point in time. :)
grateful for that.

now i'm going to go on a journey, which will consist of mostly only two person - me and SHUANGYU.
we will be leaving all our loved ones and have only each other to depend on.
however, we will also be meeting new friends and go through new experiences like never before.
for this journey, i'm both excited and scared.
excited for this 'adventure' that is going to start, and scared about the 'unknown' that i'm facing.

lucky me have a great offer from my internship company which is crowne plaza shanghai pudong.
it's rather pampered as compared to REALLY working there by myself. :)
even tay says that we should move to china asap cause of the details of their offer. HAHAHA!
anyone going to china can come to my hotel to stay kay! HAHAHA.

i know i'm gonna miss hell lots of people here. :'(
and the internet connection would probably suck so bad that the webcams will get stuck every 10s or smthing. :(
but i know i will be gaining new experiences and learning new things and becoming stronger and independent. :)
this is a path that i choose to take.
i will be discovering more about myself, about what i can do and what it's outside of my ability. but even so, i would persevere on.
even if i met any hardships, i would have to learn to take it in my stride.
when i get scolded for making mistakes, i have to swallow those tears and apologise with my utmost sincerity.

guess what,
i am really stronger and more independent than you thought.
although i feel frustrated for not knowing many things and unable to find out many things, i'm okay. i can deal with it.
this still kinda seems surreal. but i know for a fact that it is real. :)

stay safe my people, you all know who you are, and dun think you are excluded cause i'm thinking about everyone in my life right now, and i will take care of myself and ahyi over there.
please give me a hug before i leave. that would be the best encouragement and present you can ever give me. <3

oei rudolph upload the pics on FB leh D:

2011-08-15T08:28:00.001+08:00

ahhhh okayokay. so lazyyyy maaa :(

hello! what do you want to say?

HAPPY 6TH (L)

2011-08-11T20:51:00.001+08:00

:) thanks for the msg in the morning. ^^(L)
Alr told you whatever i wanted to say. :)
Thanks for sticking by me. I love you!

2011-08-11T14:44:00.002+08:00

is this gonna be that kind of wound which heals and leaves a scar but yet still hurts everytime you touch it?

2011-08-10T00:16:00.000+08:00

you were the one who asked me to bring him along. no?
if not, i rmb asking for your permission before bringing him along. no?
why are you misunderstanding me for showing him off to you now? :/
i din. and i never had that thought.
you had many suitors but you chose to be single. so why do you think of me that way? :/
dun you understand me? dun you know me? :/
perhaps one day you will wake up and understand.
perhaps.
i certainly hope so.

anyway, a little random but just wanna put a <3 here for my jomaine mainemaine who is always here for me whenever i need you. :) thanks for you-know-what. <3 you many many.

to my dearest 332,

2011-08-09T23:05:00.002+08:00

you never fail to make me feel so sweet from deep within. <3

2 more days! keke. love you many many!

It's difficult to live,

full of emotions.

LDR

(L)(L)(L)(L)

in the midst of persuading tay

Our First Anniversary.

cried at work for the first time.

NO LONGER GRUMPY! HEE~

BEING ATTACHED.

i'm so grumpy.

counting down.

food poisoning.

it's a happy day~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED.

If you truly love someone,

i'm like dying to get back to singapore.

HAPPY LOOOOOONG YEAR~ ^^

negative

my first blister D:

okay so,

it's the end of the visits

a little side story from the warrior girl fairytale,

Let me tell you a fairytale,

loves (L)

so...

growing up =/= losing yourself

miss you hong bi zi xiao jieeeeee

hi babes and hunks HAHAHA

长长九九

hypocrisy

i am back!

PROSPEROUS 8TH!!

call me laoshi!

No particular reason... stalker <-> victim. Lol I NOE YOU MISS ME MOST! hehe take care kay <3

HEY VICTIM! i see ur having fun!:D love, stalker no. 1

THE swimming competition

Lele, you should be in China when you see this! Take care of yourself there and be healthy k? Hwaiting!!! <3

my awesome boyfriend.

torn up.

Oops

hello it's sab here.

SHINEE WORLD SINGAPORE CONCERT 2011

personality test

Lucky 7th Month (L)

NEW BLOG TITLE~

no matter how loser i am

so insecure so afraid.

feeling so sick

feeling so alone.

everyone's internship started..

KEKEKE

http://www.singaporetempjob.com/ HERE GO FIND A SUPER SHORT PART-TIME AND EARN MOOOLAHHHH

kind of aimless now

who esle would call you and i.d.i.o.t ... u look happy idiot.

Happy 200th Day my love (L)

MANY EVENTS ONGOING *-*

KEKE

i.d.i.o.t

si LAO JIE

HI TAKEN AFT OUR LAST PRESENTATION HAHA

why must caps my name? me and SHUANGYU. why cannot me and shuangyu

HAHAHAHHAHAHA YOU WISH. (BUSINESS CLASS) AHHAHAHAHAH

i'm a lucky kid

oei rudolph upload the pics on FB leh D:

HAPPY 6TH (L)

to my dearest 332,

MANY EVENTS ONGOING -